Closer To Completion....

I'll make this short. I'm exhausted.

I have a week to get this side design done. This is the closest it's been to the initial concept art. I'm generally happy with the composition and feel of it, but there's still alot to be done.

-The background columns are photoshop cutouts. I have yet to model them in 3d, and add the cityscapes on top.

-The color correction, or just plain lighting all around, was thrown in for color scheme purposes. It's still very basic, very flat, and very off kilter with the background.

-The geometry in the clouds (together as a whole) still doesn't look stylistically systematic. Some have more shading than other underneath, and others are way too bubbly for my tastes... the one in the middle bothers me the most!

-The stars aren't morphed into shape. I'd like to hand-morph each one individually to give them their own uniqueness.

-The piece isn't entirely quads, so that I can't bring it into the texturing software, yet. And, yes, I still need to map out the UVs. (Sigh) But, I am looking forward to experimenting with how I want to texture the image. I've had enough time to think about it while model my sorry life away.

So, to cut it short and sweet, there's still a lot to do. Some tasks I may breeze through faster than other tasks. ***I need to worry most about the most important... I need to take a step back and stop looking so up close.***

It's crunch time, now.

Because if I don't get it done this week, I may not be able to get to it for another couple weeks. And in another couple weeks, I want to be able to move onto the next step... Incorporating more design elements (in the text/header and so on) and, hopefully sooner rather than later, mixing those elements together into flash.

I'll save the animation for last, because I figure once I can see the site as a whole, I'll get more of a feel for how I want to approach the animation-- what will draw the most attention and what I'd like to keep sutle.

So, as promised, here it is so far. I hope that you like it.

"NEXUS" by Lisa Marie Erickson

The smell of roses in spring after the settling of a misty morning helped give her a calming breath. She was washing away a long morning just like those roses washed away the dew, and she was taking a brisk walk in the park to pull in some sunlight before heading back to school.

Hooky. She couldn't help herself. Sometimes it was hard to sit still under the soft humming of flourescent lights and the voice of her teacher tossing numbers at the chalkboard. Her stomach was growling, so she slipped out the back doors of the gymnasium and was now on a tangent journey towards the bookstore.

The park was empty and beautiful. So, she laid on the grass and stared up at the heavy patches breaking up a clearing sky. She watched one cloud in particular, because it reminded her of a stuffed bear and smiled back at it softly to herself as it warped and smiled down at her.

A gust of wind rode over her and made its way into the forest, and soon the warmth of the rays took chill, and the cloud she had been looking at crept over the sun blocking the sharpness of the light.

The dark was more peacful on her eyes. Her body, craddled in the grass, felt weightless with the wind as it began to take her off into her own visions of what surrounded her. But underneath her lids, and beneath her eyes, and deeper still into the depths of her subconscious things grew even darker...

The sun began to burn away her body. The slaps of a storm twisted her hair into knots. The grass, shards of glass, puncturing through her clothes as she tried to twist and pull herself awake, off of the ground, anywhere but where she lay.

She knew that she was trapped, pinned down by toes of the trees in the enclosing forest, as there roots grew underneath the surface of the ground, breaking up the mud and lifting the rocks, spreading away from their towering bodies and encapsuling her like a cocoon.

She gasped for breath, her ribs crushing against her chest so she could only take a stifled puff, swallowing fumes that scorched down her dry throat, blistering down into her lungs, and swelling it to the point where she breathed only through a small open thread. What little air she had left, she tried to scream out. Nothing sounded and everything became silent around her. A butterfly fluttered by, pushing and zigzagging its way through and disappearing freely into the denseness.

The coating of fog above her hovered over as the cover to her casket with enough light surfacing to almost see the charcoal sky beyond and nothing more.

She dropped her head back against the prickling ground, and let the blood drip from the back of her skull to wash the sweat from her body. And with a chill, she closed her eyes to allow herself to die.

And, again, it all grew even darker...

"My Famous Dog"

I'm in one of those moods:

A couple weeks ago at my job, on a long trip away from home, I was sitting down for breakfast after a long work filled night, slaving away at the computer in pursuit of my dreams. The night was manic like. I'm tired. Than, the 'ambition' adrenalin kicks in.



At the end of it all, breakfast seemed like a treat.



And it was. I mingled with my fellow employees, ate healthy, and didn't give a crap what I looked like because I knew that the night had satisfied me much more than looking overtired and strung out.

When I finally felt stuffed enough to pull my view from the food infront of me there sat a familiar face that I hadn't see in a while. Pleasant. I nibbled at my food and took in her conversation with the lady adjacent to her. I'm so shot, I'd still rather eat and listen, anyway. Food-and-bed factor were most important.





So, I listen... And as soon as I gave her my attention, the lady turns her attention on me. I was just listening, really, but I made the mistake of looking up. She didn't have to say a word to me. I wouldn't have minded eating my breakfast without a word and heading up to my bed. Again, I'm there for the food and a quick 'hey, morning' to my own crew.

But she did... She said a mouthful around both her coffee and food. Who would have guessed? Multi-talented.



Now, even though she was a familiar face and I felt acquainted with her, she was still a stranger to me, really. And although you'd never guess she would know me enough to really remember me in those piercing aged eyes of hers, she apparently felt she knew me well enough to take a stab. Or maybe I shouldn't have taken it so personally.

Of course, I didn't know the lady sitting next to her. So, I smile politely. The lady seemed friendly enough. She smiled back, and turned her attention on the soft throat clearing surfacing next to her. Those piercing eyes pull me back in, then avert my eyes to the iron pressed smile on her lips. She was taking pleasure, as she spoke:

"Now, I know you said you got your dog in a show on stage..." She begins.

I did. He was cast in Annie's dog in "Annie". I nod.
(This was like four years ago)



I begin to reminisce.

I love my dog and all that. What a fun experience, you know. I remember thinking that I wanted to capture a memory of him. And I did. So much as to see it clearly then and now. And I laugh, as I remember one night he bolted off the stage, too, and brought the poor lead to tears. I smile to myself, even though the community theatre was a bit dry on my own behalf. It was a little bit of a depressing time. But the memory was great.... Where is she going with this, I think to myself, especially with that look she had on her face, basking in whatever she was feeling.

"Yeah," I said.

"I always expect to hear about you leaving," she quickly comments about the job, glancing over at her quiet neighbor. A hearty laugh from beaten lungs follows. "I didn't know you're dog was going to be the famous one."

Dropkicked, I sit there. Ouch. My stomach is now in my heart, like she kicked me in the *unt. It hurt. I sat there like an idiot, screaming out profanities in my head with nothing sounding from my mouth, not even indigestion, or a burp, to release into her line of path. Quick wit felt like quicksand.



She was a co-worker. And it was nice to see a familiar face. But she didn't know me. My sensitivity balloon just popped inside, spilling my emotions out all the way to the very tips of my fingers. I was almost clucthing the table.... Now, if I felt I let myself down as far as my acting career goes, that was my business. But, I guess that's why it hurt so bad. Because it is my business.

The lady next to her laughed too. Not as loud as the other, but enough to keep the atmosphere from going stale. God forbid it did. There can never be a dull moment with a bunch of people that don't know each other. Just put a bunch of strangers together for an extended amount of time and see who survives the longest.

Unless they're perfect strangers. Right. To me, there's no middle ground between not knowing someone and knowing someone. If you know someone enough, it's okay to step out of bounds once in awhile, I guess. It happens. And it happens even when you don't know someone, but.... you would think people knew better. Especially a grown adult. Maybe she felt she knew me well enough.

Or maybe she was just trying to hurt my feelings, so that she could...? I don't know if she honestly could've felt any better about herself. Hmm. Perhaps, she didn't realize just how sensitive I was. Or maybe she just didn't think I was sensitive at all. Insensitivity apparently exists.



Familiar faces doesn't mean closeness. Familiar faces are faces that you know you've seen around and you have to familiarize yourself with them again, so that you know the face. I hated the fact that I was familiar with her at that moment, because I still felt I had to be cordial for some reason. Even if I hadn't known her, I'd probably be modest. You have to be modest with co-workers. My dreams were nothing to her in the begining, middle, and throughout the conversation of a short lived conversation. She left shortly after that.

What the hell does she care, I thought. So, it shouldn't have bothered me as much as it did...

I guess it bothered me because she didn't give a crap about me AND felt she had to sucker-punch me in the process. She didn't mean it, though. So, cheers to useless time-filling conversation.

I never had the dream of being famous. But, then again, I never thought I'd be compared to my famous dog.

And I sit here tonight, bothered by myself. Just about hating to coexist with myself. Slightly depressed considering all levels of depression, but fuctioning on a lackadaisical level to try and make myself feel better.

My short story. My lovely job to build up experiences that will become either fuzzy or clear memories. And nothing more, except the good things fighting their way to filter out all the bad inside.

I love to dream. Sometimes I dream that I'm living in a dream. Because in ironies of reality, coexistence almost seems fictional. We've all experienced this heightened sense of being on the outside looking in at the pangs of your life under the judgement of others. And it's even more horrible if you're not happy with your life on some level or another. You either walk away or you sit there completely dumbfounded.

Sometimes it makes you feel like this:



Hah. I think this entry helped me get over it. Whatever with it.

Only I am responsible for being happy with my life. No one else will bring me any farther down but myself. If I can live a life where I would have time to do everything that I hoped to do, I know that I tried my hardest to live my life to its fullest. That's enough for me. I'll try my hardest to do it all.

There's my moral. (I knew I had a point somewhere)

These are old, old, old drawings of mine. Almost ten years old some of them. I've learned a lot since then. The abstraction's too complicated. One day, once my site is done, I'd like to break them down into simplfied shapes, and work on a turn table and poses for all of them, just like I'm doing with Billy.

I'd like to bring them into Photoshop and redo them all digitally. Then, bring them into the 3d software and make an entire world for them. (Yes, ten years of work at my rate...lol) But that's one of my dreams.

I broke my promise of posting up my web image. I seemed to have taken a small temporary turn doing another 'off the wagon' piece. It's ok. I wanted to come onto this blog with something tonight since I haven't be here in a while.

So, there was a bit of my past.

And the present. I've got a nice little vacation planned in two weeks. I've been exercising regularly. I've been working with my new tablet. And my bills finally dropping to the point I can feel not too worried anymore. Just, still, not enough time for everything.

Here's a couple more sketches of Billy:



I wanted to draw him in out of element situations to test how comfortable I'm getting with drawing him. I'm pretty happy with the drawing, although I would've liked to capture a little more emotion in the suit drawing. And he seems a little stiff and anatomically inaccurate somewhere in his right arm in the cannonball pose. I think it's the overlapping of the muscles in his elbow. And his right foot, too.

But overall, I think they're a good start. (Eventually I'll get all of his drawings digital and posted up on this blog together)

Whether it be old work or new work... I'll post some more stuff tomorrow.

R+R Ahead...

So, it's half way through March. I've been away from home for over a week now. And since writing to this blog last, I have been working non-stop at my job to clear out my schedule for the end of the month. Yes, Rest and Relaxation is not to far ahead.

I'm going home tomorrow with a long fifteen hour flight infront of me, prepped for a much needed weekend and anticipating a two to three week break mid next week.

So while I was away, I tried to consume myself with as much devotion to my website as I could. Although I feel I would have benefited more by being home and not bouncing around to five trillion different countries, I feel I got a semi-decent ammount of work done (Always think could've been more somehow). But still....

I'm looking forward to the next couple of weeks. I know that my site will start noticeably pulling together then.

Now that the design is close to being mapped, I'll bring it into the site and measure it up, so I know how much space I'm dealing with. And then, I can start adding in the other design elements.

My next entry, I will post the finished untextured design.

I'll close it with that. It's been a long couple of weeks. But work is work. And even though I'm traveling a lot right now, I guess I should be grateful that I can still find the time to pursue my dream while I'm at work. I wouldn't be able to do it in many other jobs... So in some ways, while I am hiddenly miserable at my current job, it has its small perks here and there.

Just ahead of this, more of my passion will be following. I promise that lots of artwork will once again fill up this blog.

Patience and ambition are what keeping me going. I can only hope that I don't give up on myself before the site's done.

Back to "THE JOB"

As I suspected, it's been really crazy. I've been out of the country for almost six days now. I have two more days to go before I get back to the United States.

It's been difficult concentrating. On one end, I want to tuck myself away in my room and submerse myself in my work. On the other end, I'm tired, I want to be social, and I'm used to working in my designated office in the basement of my home.

I've gotten a little work done, but unfortauntely I'd forgotten to install the highest version of my software onto my laptop, so at my first attempt I haven't been able to open up my files.

I had to start from stratch: Reimport the original drawing .jpeg and model the clouds I haven't gotten to yet. I've almost completed Cloud #6.

So, besides eating exotic foods, catching up on my sleep, running errands, and some miminal hustling at the gym, I've been occupying myself watching tutorials and working on a project the my friend and I had started working on a few months back. I'd like to get back to that at some point soon, as well.

At this rate, traveling and relocating every two days drains me. All I want to do is relax, and I can't stand that, because I hate relaxing when I know I have a lot to do. So here I am, *itching and complaining.

But the poistive end of things, are that are am neraly done with the modeling end of the side design. I'd give myself another week or so, if I can summon up the energy around 'the job'. It's going to be straight job-working for the next two weeks or so, with a day off or two in between each shift. So, I can't predict how long it will take to get the design done, but I can try to use my dedication to know that know matter how long it takes me, it will get it done. All of it.

So, I'm off to finish this cloud, and take a nice bath, and, yes, backwards it is and I am, get myself to the 24-hour-gym for a run.

In the Midst of a Busy Schedule...

So the break is over. I've decided the best course of action to be most effective with putting the right attention on my artwork, would be a work in chunks... To bid two weeks on the 'real' job and two weeks off the real job. This will allow the proper focus my work deserves. These last to weeks, besides some much-needed life-breaks, were really beneficial. And I'd like to keep up with the pace I was on.

My schedule for the next two and a half weeks will be overloaded with my real job. Although, it's kind of depressing, I guess I was ready to get back to work. Today marks my sixth year at my job. Six longs years at that company. Went by fast.

So I'm bidding my schedule for March accordingly. First two weeks on, last couple weeks off. And I'll condense that time off with the begining of April, so I could have even more of a gap of time off. Hopefully it will work out.

In any event, I'm on Cloud #5. Finished Cloud #4 tonight. I have two more clouds to go, after #5. Then, it's off to touch them up so they look identical to one another. And to quad-check them, so that I'll be able to export them into another application for further detail.

Once I finished the hashed-out design, I'll export it to Photoshop and get the scaling of the image right so that it fits correctly with the site. That way I'll know how much background I'll need without distorting the image. And from there, I can add the other background designs I had in mind....

Then, to texture. Then, animate.

Sounds like a lot of work. But when I think about it, if I had more time, it wouldn't be.... What to do? Oh well. Have to make money.

So, in the middle of a ran-sack weeks, while stuck on the plane, I can't really do much computer-wise. So, I plan on using that time to catch up on my magazines, learn some more, and fill up my sketch book with more poses of Billy. And start some new gestures with another old character I've been meaning to get to.

I've been itching to write to my screenplays lately, too. I don't know when I'll find the time to concentrate on that, but hopefully it will be sooner rather than later.

It's been hard focusing on one thing; more effort than actually working on that one thing... I'm surpised at myself for keeping on track this far, but I guess the drive is has been more overbearing then everything else.

Where, though, has my life gone? Friday night, and I have to be up in four hours for a sixteen hour work day... Back in the day, I would have been taking my chances oversleeping for work on a night out at the bar. Now, I take my chances oversleeping on a night over my computer. Yes, I've turned into a 26-year old geek, and I love it.

Man, I can use a drink, though. On that note.... :) Good night.

Behind Schedule...

So, here's the updated model of the cloud. It's looks like the drawing, so that's a start. The only thing I'm not satisfied with is the depth of the ropes, but I guess I could fix that up with the lighting and once I start texturing. The texture otherwise is too basic against the background.

My original plan was to get all the clouds done by Wednesday. That's not going to happen... I'd rather take my time and make it look good, than plow through.

I'm completely wiped out from pushing points around all night. So, I'll leave this blog at that. My only concern is once everything's put together that the flow and feel is consistent.

COUNTDOWN.

One week left before I have to go back to work. Two more days before I go away to see my Uncle in California... and a whole *hit-ton of stuff to do.

I officially think I may have a love/hate realtionship with 3D. I can't stand it. But I love it. How would one reason that? It just takes forever and a day. The end grafication, as awesome as it is, isn't as immediate as I would like.

And polygon clouds? Ugh. I'm fairly happy with the way the one cloud is coming along so far. It's just hard to handle the flow of all of the faces in a non-uniformed geometry. I know I'm complaining about it more than praising it.

I'll love it more when I finish. It will give my a sense of accomplishment. It always does. I know this whole site will, if prayfully I could manage to get it done.

I still have a lot of work to do on cloud1, so I won't leave you with a close up of it just yet. I messed around with some textures in photoshop, but I'm still brainstorming exactly just what I want to do. I know I want the starholders to be like golden cords, weaved like ropes. And I think I might want a sense of crosshatch like the drawings have.

The short of my goal is to finish the modeling of the Side Design before I go away... Let's see if I can do it. I think I may need some luck, but then again I can always just duplicate if I run out of time.

It will be done by Wednesday. And since I probably won't have much time to work on my computer while I'm away, I'll probably just focus on photoshop-ing Billy.

So Here's The Plan

Tonight I figured I'd try and start the side design for my website. I've been thinking about it for weeks now. The image below is my first drawing that inspired me to become an animator. It was drawn about ten years ago, when I was in highschool and was chosen to be on the front cover of "Ozone", my school's newspaper. Felt good, especially since he looks pretty scary. lol.

Anyway, enough of it's history. But it did centralize my passion in both character design and animation. I drew my side view soon afterward and it's all down a crumbling-starving-artist hill from there. :)



(Here's Clown's side image)



...So... The Clouds...



**This is just a quick test I did tonight. Not the final version**

That's sort of the stlye I'm going for in the side image of my sight, but fluffier. The edges of the clouds are a little too sharp. But I'm going to use these clouds with the stars connected by cords. The stars will be golden and sparkling.

Upon opening the page the stars will swing from right to left and point toward the main menu, releasing a golden pixie dust across the background...

In the end it will take longer piecing apart the clown drawing than just drawing the clouds over again in the layout I want... So, unfortunately, I'm going to have to head back to the drawing board-- literally speaking)

So I'm undecided if I should work in solely Photoshop. Or if I should model everything in 3D then bring the render into Photoshop. I think I'd like the latter, because the dimensions would be real and the shadows would be real. I'm thinking of going for a very subtle greenish lighting (undecided on that, too). But I do know I want the stars to look embossed like heavy plates of gold. So, I'll probably model them out in 3D and if things aren't looking as planned, I'll use Photoshop as the alternative.

The side image will set the tone of the rest of the page (buttons, blocks, and so on), so I have to get this done first.

So, my course of action for the next week, while I work on 'digifying' Billy's designs. It feels like that would be a lot time but at the same time a week seems short right now.

On that note, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow at twelve, so I'm off to struggle into resting mode and hopefully brianstorm myself to unconsciousness.

Billy Buck's FACIAL EXPRESSIONS...

I am feeling...


...Deliriously Tired.


But It was Worth It.

ADDICTION

It comes in all different forms.


The published definition: "To occupy (oneself) with or involve (oneself) in something habitually or compulsively". I'm prone to compulsion.

Compulsion is written as "a strong, usually irresistible impulse to perform an act, esp. one that is irrational or contrary to one's will".

To be honest, I didn't want to do this tonight... Really, I was lonely. I went to the bookstore as I usually do to do my research for my website. I didn't want to go home and do the usual routine, after the bookstore closed.

I felt restless at the same time I felt dull. Everything in my life, from little to large, seemed so far away.

So, I drove... Chain-smoking and singing in my car to a song that still pains me (irnonically playing at a painful moment). I felt impassioned. I just kept driving.

I thought about playing pool. Having a beer. I thought about walking in by myself. And shrugged it off figuring I've done a lot of things by myself (A scary movie in an empty theatre was probably the strangest). But pool would be no different from the other times. I'm reasonly comfortable in my own skin.



THEN, I thought about not being able to break up the table. Or not being able to get shots in. I thought about all the guys looking at me when I walked in... About how I didn't have any money and I really shouldn't use my credit card. In the end, I did it anyway.

I walked in. But they didn't take credit card and they didn't have a liqour license. (It wasn't my usual dive). Not to mention that guy at the counter had to politely bring it to my attention that I was by myself. I said, "I know". ...And...??? I thought. Well, No credit card. Hmm. My luck. It wasn't meant to be. Let me take my imaginary friend and myself back out the door.

So I went home. I took a long and thoughtful shower, and got myself motivated for the usual routine. Yes, it's pathetic. But not as pathetic as a night of pool by myself, and knowing my compulsion that's what it would have turned into.

I'm starting to think, when I get really consumed with something in particular, I'm actually just addicted to it. What consumes me, I don't know... I'll probably get consumed thinking about what consumes me. Really my brain is like one giant racetrack of circulating overexhausted thoughts.

BUT all in all the night, in the end, was good. I figured out the major glitches in my website, allowing it to be viewed over browser windows of multiple resolutions. And, as I wanted, to line the mock image I have flush up against the right screen. The former being most crucial, crucial.

And I got a couple drawings in. I'm starting to get a good feel for the character. I tried to kill two birds with one stone and throw in some facial expressions. But today's mission (after I pass out) will be strictly facial expressions and cleaning up the images digitally. And hopefully, to begin designing the division-blocks for my site in Flash.

So, there's alot to do... but gosh is it hard to motivate myself out of my rut sometimes.

I'll end it with the small epitamphy of my terrible personality:
"The void calls out for satisfaction, a satisfaction that must be repeated endlessly, since the void is unfillable and that cycle of hunger, momentary completeness and renewed emptiness comes to be the sole drama of the addicts life"

Peter Trachtenberg
Some addictions, I guess, are hopefully, are good addictions.

I DETOURED...

Well, I cleaned off my drafting table, and got my studio organized. I was just itching to work on some artwork. This is Billy Buck, a character whose orignal concept I created about a year ago.... I figured he was the easiest to start off with (and of couse quickest to get finished).

So, yeah, I detoured a bit. But I figured while I was figuring out some kinks in my website and doing my research reading books, I might as well squeeze in some time to build up my portfolio.




I've been digging into Flash books. I ran into a problem with fixed width vs. fluid width. Seems the site I'm using as a layout guide is primarily fluid,and I've been having a problem with my side image floating all over the place when I switch from my desktop browser to my labtop browser. (Atleast I'm understanding the problem... sigh...) Now I have to figure out the best approach. I will probably just adjust everything and go with a fixed layout, but I wanted to do some tests first so I can see exactly how I'll have to adjust the layout with my initial style.

Well, enough about the site. It consumes enough of my thousts. I'd just like to write that it feels good to peel into my roots again. I feel a sense of confidence. Billy still needs a lot of work, but I was a lot more scared before than I am now. I will probably do some more concept designs before bringing him into the 3d application. I'm not happy with his side view (or any of my character's side views for that matter). My characters always look like damn monkeys! I know anatomically that there's definitely an error over there... Gesture wise, I feel he looks pretty comfy in that seat... I don't feel any stiffness in his poses (besides the original concept)... So, that's good.

My next step will just be to get more comfortable drawing the character in all different positions in all different scenarios. I just want to concentrate on representing his personality. And I'd like to do a series of facial expressions. I'm hoping to do this within the next few days, while I run the tests on the site and finish up the site's side image.

As far as my other design, I haven't given up it. I scanned it in, blew it up, printed it out. I plan to adjust the perspective and add in the detail. I'll hash out a good angle in the 3d program with mock objects and print it out. And use that as a reference (By the way, I SUCK at perspective). I credit my teacher and mentor, Jeff Lerer, for that tip! That project will be a looong project... specifically because I want to take a lot of time of detailing. But for some reason I can't get myself to work on it without getting the Wacom tablet first. It gives me motivation to get the stupid tablet! Next month. Next check. I swear it. For now, just Billy and my site. (I know I'm all over the place...)

As far as my life, it's the same old. When I make artwork and I feel the session was successful, it makes me feel really, really good. I guess that's all I can ask for of myself right now. lol.

It may be a long journey, but I got the shoes with good soles. :)
Thank god for inspiration...

Meant To Be This Way... (I'm sure of it)

SO, I get back from Africa, extremely motivated and inspired, but rundown, pyschologically and physically beaten, and jetlagged to the point of near death... Still, I hauled my unlively body out of my sicking matress at nine am, ran my errands, drew out a quick thumbnail or two, and picked up my labtop.

And then... figured I'd top the day off continuing on my site, figuring I'd been neglecting it the past month or so.

Until now, I fail to mention that I had both OS's on my computers customized... So, I had to reinstall everything. The problem was not that I didn't back everything up (because, genius me, I did)...

The problem is that after reinstalling everything, my website files aren't uploading onto the local server correctly. For some reason, everything's misaligned and all over the place... and, to put it short and frank, crapped-out looking. I don't know if it's because I have a new internet explorer or if it's something in my settings. It's too early in the morning to go and figure it out, but I DO know that I arranged my layout 'inline', so it shouldn't be that way (shouldn't being the key word in the sentence)...

Okay, now, THE PLAN:

So, I can salvage what's little left of the little beauty I found in my site... but I can just do as my gut was telling me from the last post I wrote--- Redesign. Make it more Dynamic. I want to throw in some flash. Make it look less generic and more stylish... So, as the header of my post "It Was Meant to Be This Way"... It's not that God hates me, I hope. :(

So, I backtrack a little. I'm going to plow through the internet after I get home from work tomorrow and look for reference; Sites of interest/inspiration and I'm going to analyze them to death, takes notes, and hopefully be able to create the masterpiece I envision. What would you do, besides start tying the knot to hang yourself? lol.

Web Design isn't really my speciality, but if I can acheive beauty out of it, than I could consider it an art... Isn't this what art's all about? Anyway, God bless all you web designers.

Enough. Well, I know I promised I'd upload the sketches I came up with, but I may wait until I get a little farther ahead with the project. With the casuality of my website it seems I may have a lot of project(s) ahead of me... Until then, thanks for bearing with me while I bitch and moan about my bad luck.

A Quick Run Down.

It's Three o'clock in the morning and I have to wake up for a looonng flight to Nigeria tomorrow morning.

I fixed up my page (again) on my Concept Art link and I think I've finally figured out the trick (which would be NOT to alter my page in anyway while at another computer). I'm going to try that, because I don't think I can stand fixing the color components of my page every other week. It's a huge waste of time... So that's my little plan for that: "Don't Touch while away".

Last night in the moonlight I sketched a quick gesture thumbnail of my first concept drawing. I 'll work on a few more, posing the character at different perpectives and more interesting angles. Just to see which I like best.

In any event, for all those who get OC with the fear of your gesture drawing looking horrible, my best advice would be to draw in crappy lighting. You can't see too much, so you don't worry as much. lol. I like the method. Helps me hash things out better. I looked at the sketch today and it actually looks pretty decent (surprisingly). I'll upload my all of the sketches on my next post or so.

Been thinking about my site a lot. How to make it more dynamic looking. I'll sit on that for a couple days and sketch out some layouts of that, too.

And about the Wacom tablet-- God help you people who work on 4x5's! Think I'll wait until I get my paycheck. I'm leaning towards the 6x8 or the 9x12. The 4x5 just isn't worth it.

And I haven't heard anything from that company reccommended me to just yet. I'm crossing my fingers. The man I spoke with on the phone last week said he would email me sometime this week. Ugh. The suspense.

Okay, well, until then, I'm up, up, and away to Africa.

Ugh... Too many Things Interest Me...

I've been very distracted lately. All over the place, yes. Uninspired, no. So, my update is this:

I've been reading these magazines while at work. See what too much down time on the job will do to you?? Anyway, goodbye viral gossip magazines.

I figured if any magazines I should be reading, it should be ones that pertain to my ulimate career desire to be an artist. So I've been reading word-for-word, front-to-back, ads-and-all, with a notebook and pen by my side, these two great magazines. 3D World and Imagine FX.

I've been taking notes on updated software, contact information on companies all over the world, and studying the art of amazing art nose-to-page. Gosh, there's so amazing, amazing art of there. I'm seriously inspired, right now.

See, now, I know I have it in me. I just have to find my niche. The right one. And go with that. I do love concept art and, I think, I begining to crave game design, as well... Hmm... Like I said I'm all over the place. lol.

In any event, I signed up for two online community forums. Here's my links:


http://community.imaginefx.com/fxpose/lisamaries_portfolio/default.aspx

http://community.conceptart.org/profile.php?id=59944


The last is buggy. Keeps on erasing my customized profile. Grrr. Did it twice already. Just re-doing THAT is distracting me! And I can't upload to my gallery. I dunno. I won't give up on it though. The first forum is great, although my work looks like dirty flattened gum smooshed a clean, sparkling street.

But, I know I have what it takes. Got a few ideas I want to flesh out. But then again...

I become distracted. From completing my site (Which really, in the most basic format of a website, is almost done). I found myself teaching myself all of the little nooks of Flash, to make it a little more stylish. I know I went off tangent with that. I figure now, I could just finish it up and update it later. I just got to get it done, now, for crying out loud!

...So I can move onto making some fresh work to put up on it along with all these sites I'm joining.

I have a potential freelance opportunity coming my way (Thanks to my friend Mats). It would be photoshop work, if I get the gig... but thinking about it against 3d, I am very comfortable in the application. I know I can work faster and more efficinetly in Photoshop.

I'm really grateful, though. I haven't been pursuing a 'career' change quite yet, because of financial reasons (I know that's just a bad wannabe artists' excuse lol). So, thankfully, there's good friends out there that look out for me. I really do appreciate it, even if I don't get the jobs.

I'd like to get a hefty portfolio and just knock these companies' socks off, but it takes time. I keep thinking one thing at a time. It'll happen.

6-month agenda that I'm going to try to stick by:

-Get a Wacom Tablet (Yikes, money, but gotta do it)
-Finish the Website (Simplified, BASIC starter version, right?)
-Pay off Last of Remaining Debt
-Keep myself updated on the art world
-Build a contact list and find some mentors
-Work on my artwork
-Have a social life (somewhere)
-Get a understandable salary in the art world (Please, god)
-Get my own apartment
-Live Happily Ever After

Sounds like a fairy tale right now... It's a lot. But, now it's FOREVER capsuled online, and I'll have to look at it everytime I look at this blog. Hopefully, I'll be able to check them all off the list within a decade.

Okay enough ranting. First on the list is the webiste. In two weeks I'll be able to get the tablet. If I can get the website done in close to that time, I'll get a good flow to be able to continue my work.

Hopefully that job will fall in place, too. We'll see.