"BABY STEPS"

So the design of Jabba is complete and approved, and I suddenly find myself restless for more. It just feels as if expressing myself isn't enough sometimes. Sometimes, when the timing of life seems unbalanced, it feels as if it holds, boils, then simmers down to the strongest remaining ingredients, and I find the urge to prove myself to myself.

Like a long distance runner that finds that simple reasoning to not stop before their intended distance. They just can't. They won't. It's the trek that they look back on and gloat, most understandably, because they say that it is the journey and not the destination that it the most important remnant of one's successes. It's not what others see, but rather a checklist of what goals you can achieve that brings satisfaction and comfort.

I was happy was the result of Jabba. And thankfully so was my client.



I timed myself so that I had an idea of how long I took in respect to if I should ever dive into more designing. Time optimization and the output of presentable work is most key, when it comes to getting business. Hopefully more is to come.

Which brings me to where I am now.

Free. To do whatever I wish.
It's been liberation, ironically, that stagnates me the most.

So, on a break from uploading the remaining contents of my site, I'm on Zbrush (again), in the midst of typing reference notes and working through my first lesson of "Introducing Zbrush" by Eric Keller. My background looks like one of a fourth grader. It's really humbling, as I try to keep my end results in mind, and I shake my head to keep focus-- as I know that I will only achieve my desired prowess with tightly reigned patience.

Tomorrow I will begin to find Zbrush artists that I mentor and start my study of styles and researching of approaches. And tomorrow I will post my completed lesson from chapter 3, even if the progess is amateur. And tomorrow I will finish chapter 3, and get into chapter four.

As I quote from the great comedy, "What about Bob", which knocks boots to considerations of both crazed and sane, it holds ridiculous in its delivered content but is quite true to life: "Baby Steps."

Eventually, I will return to load up the rest of my work to the site and continue to output more traditional drawings as I learn a foreign and necessary program for my future, but for now-- the fundamentals of me and my current interests are out there for the world to critique.

Chapter 3's lesson (four grade appearance and all) = tomorrow. I'll do my very best to make it look as good as possible, but learning shouldn't be too neat. I'll also include some quick notes that can be referenced of awkwardness that I found in emerging from other 3D programs. Some might want to keep attuned to these quick references and hold them close at hand for those short term memory lapses. I know that why I take notes! Plus, short notes is always great when your a multi-tasker and your dabbling is not always consistent or daily as you'd like. There IS a lot to absorb, obvious enough...

Everyday I try to read them over, even if I can't "get with the program".

A Reminiscent Writer.

Many, many years ago before ambitions, goals, and dreams crept into the realities of growing up, I used to be a dedicated writer writing for the sake of escape only. No plot ever really came to mind ahead of time maybe mere moments before I started a session, I remember. I only had the ending planned and that was enough drive to zigzag and race eagerly through flips of pages per day.

I wasn't worried about the rules of having too many subplots or characters, narrative hooks, climaxes, or (as I had taken creative writing classes in my later college years) crafting the most luxurious Denouement to sum the story.

I just wrote my heart content. Everyday. From getting out of school up until dinnertime and then from dinnertime until it was time to go to sleep, squeezing in some quick needs for hygiene, self-maintenance, and whatever schoolwork needed to be done. Why? I think it was because I loved creating life and bonds. I was interested in what motivated people and foreign in understanding, so from there a whole story had potential to unravel. Discovering journeys, conflict, emotion, heroism -- all the fights of what makes a life of life. And the love of resurrecting creatures that only rummaged captive deep in my dreams.

I'm such I was also inspired by my brother. He was deeply involved with the Dungeons and Dragons role playing games before they had gone digital, of course. I never played but would constantly steal his "Monstrous Compendium" and his "Dungeon Master's Handbook" (and his dice) to TRY to understand what he was doing. There lies a whole other story for why I dove head first into making this layout for my own game.

My writing started through a stroll through the bookstore, possibly with my brother, I'm sure. I discovered a series called Dragonlance that just about possessed me into a blissful state of fantastical time consumption where all things surrounding me were obsolete. I was in prepubescent love and tapped my inner geek.

I plowed through this series as if it was going out of print. I was so smitten, I even went so far as to intentionally, but nonchalantly, show off the cover of the book that I was reading in a family photo. It was "Dark Heart". So vivid. And, yes, I sound like a complete geek, but I'm reminiscing so its okay. I live in reminiscing. I'm sure it will be the death of me.

This is where I became a teen writer. And this is where my writing surged into full force until I was about 22 or so. And then I ventured into other creative areas. An array of artsy-fartsy. Yes...

I completed 315 pages to a book I called "Desire for Evil". I don't want to reveal all because it is will forever be unpublished and still so close to me, and honestly because it was so long ago I can't really remember it too well.

Basically, the main character, a young impoverished orphan without a defined class and wayward, is forced into a journey to search for his younger brother after his brother is kidnapped by minion's of evil goddess Takhisis without reason. On this journey, the character finds his identity, learns the secrets to why his brother was taken, and what he must do to rescue him.

After I completed it, I researched what I was reading. Drangonlance was set along the Ravenloft and Forgotten Realms series, all published by the same company. A company called TSR, Inc. I decided to send out my work without premeditated worry of rejection that festers inside me now, and in the following days continued onto the sequel.

Over 250 pages and about 8 months into the sequel later, I received a letter of response. I was shocked. I honestly didn't believe they would reply, but they did. And to this day, I am humbled by it because it give me a sense of great accomplishment.



The novel "Desire for Evil" never did take off. I was too young too understand what
'copyright' really meant. I remembered the word 'solicited' and became curious. And soon I learned another word. I didn't take it to heart, because I knew I was really young and novice.

"Desire for Evil" was my own primary set of characters and places within an already existent world and it was all me representing me, as usual. And the story was too intertwined into the world to go back and edit everything-- now especially because of what I've learned over the years on technique and structure. I was so young that even the language would be amateur.

So I scratched both book and half book, and continued onto the next. Which I called "Braid of the Gemini". The length crept to about 150 pages, when my hard drive failed and I lost near to everything.

The only remains I have to date is 60 pages to an abandoned book, my first, that I titled "Thunderstar", one hard copy of "Desire for Evil", and a book follwing the rest called "Braid of the Gemini" which is garbled with onslaughts of symbols and numbers leading each line of text. The entire sequel, which name's failing to come to mind at the moment, was lost forever along with other writings.

Better than nothing. But... god that was painful. I remember when my Uncle told my that he couldn't recover all of my work, that I had to sit on my stoop and cry for a good 20 minutes before I could find some composure to stand up and move on.

I forever made sure I did my best to back up my artwork -- EVERYWHERE.
(Please see other post and read carefully) ;)

"Desire for Evil" is part now part of my history. Maybe I achieved my small successes long ago, and can sit back now and reminisce and settle with personal feat.

TSR was nice enough to also send along their guidelines and offered options that I never realized were possible. As someone explained later on, they said ALL work to be considered for publication needs to be through an agent: what I always thought was more "solicited" than not, but that's not entirely true.

I've coming to realize that a lot companies shun agencies. At least as advertised. Even in CG.

When my drive failed, I continued onward from this and from fantasy in a way, but never from writing. I started another project which stops at 246 as of the year 2005. That novel I don't say much of, because I still feel faith that I will one day return to complete it. Maybe.

But if not, I hope it dies with me.

One day, I would love to return to writing, but for now, it's the fundamentals of my present focus-- finding a job to keep my resume fresh and keeping on my forever long trek to become a pro Zbrusher.

If you want to read some of my work some time, let me know! I'd love that. My website has my contact information and will soon also have excerpts of some of my writing.

Zbrush: Do I love modeling?

Yes. Which means, that I will never give up in strained efforts to try and learn this software. Being busy with easier or more fun artist things, is an excuse that is just not good enough.

Learning programs has never glued my passions to computer art, because computers are computers, technology is technology, and unless I want to continue to be left behind-- I must keep on my slow and steady race to catch up.

My newest issue: Since the last time I opened zbrush a new edition was released and the interface and some hot keys changed. So I have to backtrack to the notes I had taken on Introduction to Zbrush (by Keller) and readjust them, and then relearn what had never truly been ingrained into my system in the first place. Very frustrating.

I'm taking baby steps: Today, with the hour or two left that I have before I have to travel out, I have programed my express keys on my wacom tablet for my two tablet-centered programs of choice (Photoshop and Zbrush) am now drilling these keys into my head as if I am a program myself. I feel like a robot. If I do this everyday atleast once a day it will become second nature.

Soft of like my daily drawings. I finished the finalized illustration of Jabba last night, but cannot post him until I get the nod from my client that the design is approved and that his release to the public is permissible. Until I can get back home, though, I can't get a confirmation. In the flux of commissioned versus non-commissioned artwork I am weary and to disagreeable to sending any copies via internet.

My time drawing him was rewarding, so I feel as sense of ownership over him right now and I do look foward to posting him soon. He would make a great zbrush model!

Now, back to my zbrush trials... One day I hope to post my zbrush work on here as well. Until then, my struggle continues.

Different Avenues, One focus.

Well, it's official. My 1TB external drive is non-recoverable. The data was inside is now lost and gone forever. I'm gathering up my collection of computer "stuff" from each working computer that I own and backing everything up (yet again) on (yet another) new drive.

On a positive note, I am still on my daily drawing kick. Nibbler is now complete and has received a bunch of thumbs up on my facebook page, which has always been nice and rewarding feeling for me since I don't actively work on my art around people too much:



If anyone out there wants to find me on Facebook, I'm always looking for new friendships and new contacts. I can be found under Lisa Marie Erickson (New York) and will be most happy to add you.

On other topics, I've created a to do list which I'm slowing checking off: Some of which are my own projects that had been placed on the back-burner and some of which are for others. Either way, it's a lengthy list and helps give me that extra push toward yet another challenge.

Tomorrow, it is on to start drawing Jaba, the African Bull Frog, which, based on how this sketch turns out, may become the ignition to designing more reptile cartoons.

Of all the facets of art, I always loved cartooning and character design the most. So, this really excites me.

For now, my website has kept me busy this week. Today I worked own customizing the design by making a mini sitemap at the bottom of the work page in case a viewer wanted to see something very specific easily, instead of rummaging through categories along the top navbar. My goal is to make my site as condensed with information I as can in as uncluttered a format as possible. The navigation of the interface is functional and fluid... (This also help ease my curiosity in becoming a UI designer).

I also placed my information along the bottom of the splash page, so that one can see my credentials or contact me while the video loads and the site images cache.

So, now what's left how I will layout the remainder of the content. Specifically on my mind, my writing section.

I'm ambitious to get some of my writing out there, too, lately. I've had a few requests over time from people that have taken interest. For as far back as I can remember, my writing, like my cartooning, has always been a very predominant part of my life.

Back To The Drawing Board

Ever since I started winding down from my last commissioned project, and even more so after experiencing large scale dual drive failures, I've been burning the lead against the blank pages of my sketchbook once again trying to recreate new additions for my small gang of characters.

I've been thinking of small encounters between one character and another, crafting snippets in my head of how these characters interact, and considering who they are as individuals-- what their own personal tales reveal about them for the current point in time.

To get moving from the emptiness of the page, I decided on expansion of what I had. So I'm choosing to make friends, colleagues and companions, enemies, family, whatever social integration I can think of that makes the world go around. In this case, opens opportunity to further develop narrative within the characters that I already have drawn up.

Why? I don't now yet.
But it's keeping me busy and keeping me quiet, which is what I'm best at and what people seem to like most from me.

And, like I've always, it's taking me back into my passion of storytelling. Although the development end of my stories aren't always as easy when it comes to the thought of bringing anything outside of my imagination itself... when I get that crazy idea that one of these stories might have an option to become visual versus reflected upon or written. The question of "How much work would this entail?" starts lingering and the scale of the idea suddenly paralyzes the story.

Keep it simple!
Do I want a comic or kid's book?

Well, I never honestly imagined my posse being fit for kids, but people around me have offered that I'd make a fine children's book illustrator. My character's personalities and habits? Nope. I'd be getting head shakes from lots of parents. I'm sure of it. It is a tough challenge to consider what's fit for children and entertaining enough for adults. Pixar's director, Enrico Casarosa, said it best during his "La Luna" presentation at sigGRAPH -- better than I'll probably word it, at least-- The best substance to a good story is to find something personal that hits home in people's hearts where you can relate people closely to the emotions and story's primary feeling. It could range from anywhere sentimental to humorous. It is just the ability to find those common bonds for one's personal visions.
Naturally, Pixar leads the industry with their flawless plots, and "La Luna" was another brilliant piece.

Anyways,If I was to work on something one or the other: I choose the comic.

If I took the characters beyond the drawing board?
Me and myself-- It would have to be VERY simple and VERY short.

So, I've been stacking up a pile of different ideas. The bliss of having free time on my hands from my work and personal life, Because my artwork always sits uncomfortably in the middle of both.

So most newest additions are Frazz. His fans call him Jazzy Frazz. He is the lead guitarist of "Damnation Virus and the Mofos" and bandmate to Lead Singer MacBurley, who can be seen under the characters section of my website. Eventually, I will create the remaining members of the band.



Next, is Lolita Fatz. I imagined her as a frequenter of "Sweets and Treats" (with is Clementine's shop) and "GeeBee's Fun Time Ice Cream", both of which are competitors and stubbornly own space adjacent of each other. Lolita, is what one would consider a fire-starter, who erupts trouble between the businesses purely on her own personal motive of nurturing her love for deserts.



And my latest drawing, a doggie portrait of a small spunky mutt named Nibbler, should be completed by tonight and posted by tomorrow.

I am, indeed, back to that drawing board and it feels good! So along with my checklist of pending computer artwork, I now have made drawing at least once a day every day a firm priority.