Power Struggles.

Less than human. Insecurities. Defense mechanisms. Walls. Hiding your heart. Kindness without repercussion. To be kind in this day in age is opening yourself up for an onslaught. Not to say being mean works, but I tend to level with people. I try to keep my heart time-released now. I need proof of authenticity.

I tend to think I'm both sweet and sour (some of my firends tend to think so too), not to judge or dishonor company, to listen, learn, and respond in accordance with my opinions. Had my opinions been too strong to the outside, perhaps it would be called a power struggle???

To be honest I am a competitor at heart, but I always try to respect the world and people around me. I refuse to be intimidated or persuaded. If I didn't have a voice and views, I'd be compliant, yes, but I'd be weak. Not that I'd want to outwit ayone, because what's really the point of even holding a conversation if all you do is hear yourself, and hear yourself being "right"? Opinions are opinions. The productivity of a conversation comes for attempting to understand where the other person is coming from, not who can say what better or with more information attached.

If it were a power struggle, I couldn't determine my M.O. But should I be open to accept that I was indeed struggling for power, instead of feeling manipulated to think that it was a power struggle, I reasearched into it:

"http://www.magneticworkplaces.com/html/articles/conflict/doublewin.htm"
If you have never experienced a power struggle, you have probably never been in a close human relationship. Power struggles occur in every type of relationship – co-workers, boss/subordinate, business competitors, spouses, family members, and sometimes even strangers – in which there is an apparently “scarce resource.”

Others may be more intangible, such as:
· being right;
· having things done a certain way;
· having needs met first;
· looking good or bad in front of bosses or peers.

HOW TO DIMINISH A POWER STRUGGLE:
1. Broaden your perspective.
2. Reach a definition of the problem that includes the problems perceived by all involved.
3. Set aside preconceived ideas and prejudices.
4. Don’t solve the problem too quickly.
5. Make action plans concrete.

Hmm, I didn't look into the conversation that much, but...
For some reason, I feel that in the end it was a manipulation to feel badly about myself, but then again maybe I'm just struggling for power within my own self, instead of struggling for power with everyone else.

(What happened to light and fun evenings?)