Always. I recently received (very recently actually) a very valuable piece of advice from a very close compadre. In vents my woes against the nerveracking pressures of an approaching deadline, he explained (in my intrepreted jargon) "Always overestimate the amount of time it will take, and then surprise them with an early arrival." Thank you for that.
It stuck out, though, in a way that was both useful as well as memorable...
I had my second revsion of storyboards delivered a little later than I planned in my head, but a day earlier than they were expected. I kicked myself for not meeting MY deadline beffforrree the deadline, but... am keeping this statement in mind as I await a response at the closing curtains on the day "of" the actual delivery.
Over the next few weeks, my schedule will peak for my artistic endeavors and plateau for the airlines. I have a nice break from flying after today. Always welcomed when you feel as if you want to throw the towel in on the sweatshop labor of working with no anticipated breaks in doing your laundry and repacking for a quick return to the airport versus sitting down and watching a movie with your family... That job is great when your finished ONLY. I guess, as is most?
Two weeks of freedom from the rapidfire shifts and full focus on bringing the 2D photoshop sequential set sequences into 3D life. The set needs to be constructed now, and 3D, I feel, is the best way to properly build an animatic without much heartache of angle adjustments. With repitious perpective and angle adjustments, photoshop will make me cry if I had to sit down for another massive angle revision... "If you can just pan the camera 90 degrees and shift everything to the right...?" is like asking "if the earth can rotated upside down and right side up instead of around and around...?". Completely different visuals. Ah, art.
But back to delivery... I'd rather wait, than keep someone waiting. I anticpate getting back to any and all or my personal work in the mean time, along with the occasional match on a bottle of red and a really, really good night's rest. Saying farewell to flying for a bit and hello to the gym, leisure, and all of my other loves.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
This Scenic Route Is Not So Scenic.......
There's a few problems that I run into with working downstairs in my office by myself. The number one speedbump, mound, or mountain is that when I need help in a very specific area, I can never seem to master my googling skills to troubleshoot a appaudable solution in an adequate ammount of time. So, I achieve the task I set out to do, but in a solution that is comparable to finding an underground tunnel and having to swim through slop to get to the other side versus climbing over with the guile of a spiderman... I do evennnntuuuuallllyyy get to the other side, but not in a way I consider productive nor conclusive to higher learning. Just like the age old times of when there wasn't a video camera but only a camera for animation--- that's how I "want" to look at it to feel a little better, but surely there is an easier way out there in the world wide web that has nothing to do with in-house development tools or advancements in technology. It just boils down to not being at the advantage becoming my own TD (Technical Director) on any level. I can't give myself a promotion. I must reapply for myself in another year, I guess.... :)
Seriously, it's bothersome. It makes me hate working alone, because sometimes there is no easy answer for what one is trying to achieve and there are no simple resources when projects get complex. In a nutshell. I promise I'm not the only one out there that must feel this way!
Also, I have a feeling that what I am trying to achieve with my website at the moment, is even more diffcult to explain. So I won't bore you with the technicalities.
The main thing: I do have a solution. And it may be longer, more arduous, and teeth writhing, hair grabbing, and provoking of frothing madness, but it gets you to the destination eventually and perhaps a little off schedule.
WHY??? Well, If I seek help online through a forum, I have to wait for someone to conjur up the energy to write a solution or, even worse, wait, and then after some hoping get a response in which they request clarification. No, no. Not that I wouldn't want the assistance, I'm patient, but I feel they'll need a visual reference to fully help me with a solution is webdesign savvy. Unfortuantely, I don't know many people who are deeply involved with web design to pick up the phone and call...
Right now-- it just works. It's functioning and its fine, But it's probably the WORST approach possible. It's reminding me of shoving clothing into a closet because you have nowhere to put it while all along wanting to make the room appear clean. In reality, it's not clean. It's a damn mess.
The way I always try to work, is that if I want to get skilled in multiple areas-- I have to not just do it. I have to do it right. Perhaps I am a perfectionist. So be it. Better off crafting for flawlessness than throwing together something with a core filled of careless errors.
I will seek help after to learn. And hope that someone can guide me down a smarter path, but I can't take the time right now to wait for the solution.
It works. But the scenic route, the "real" scenice route is definitely not this way. I've loaded up my Concept content online, and, minus the desciptions, I am almost finished with the life drawing section. You can view both interactive pages here:
http://www.lisamarie.biz/2D_Designs.php
http://www.lisamarie.biz/GalleryPages/2D/Cycle1/2D_LifeDrawing1.php
Otherwise, here's a snapshot. The same layout, really, as the concept page...
IF ANYONE CARES TO READ THE TECHY END OF THIS THREAD, HERE IT GOES:
Right now, my main struggles are the iframes of the submenu (CHAIN WITH LINKS) and how they are working with the main design pages. I want the chain holding the plates (when clicked) to appear as if its dropping... but when clicking the iframe links, they are referencing each other (and appearing to drop), instead of referencing their complimenting background pages.
I'm not sure if I can keep the iframes but have them reference TWO things when clicked-- I doubt it. Must find out, but, for some reason I believe it might be unlikely without major coding outside of html. This area in particular that I am speaking of:
I could have done flash (it probably would have been easier in the long haul) but I wanted a stop motion sort of feel for now. I may change this later because I really like the organics of flash, but for now.... I like bareboned.
I got rid of the iframes (which I'm not a fan of anyways) and created a div incorporated into the Design Pages, and now have a different Design Page for each "placement" of the plate in each of the following topics: CONCEPTS, CHARACTERS, TATTOOS, LIFE DRAWING, CELL.
Where this leaves me:
WAAAY to many pages for my liking + (besides the changing divs) mostly repitious content per Topic.
I was also considering a php include as an alternative... to cut down the ammount of pages accumlating and slim the site down, but I'm not sure how I would do this when the background needs to change on each topic?
Anways, so yeah.
Techy troubles in the land of web design.
I'll let you know what responses I receive to the problem.
Seriously, it's bothersome. It makes me hate working alone, because sometimes there is no easy answer for what one is trying to achieve and there are no simple resources when projects get complex. In a nutshell. I promise I'm not the only one out there that must feel this way!
Also, I have a feeling that what I am trying to achieve with my website at the moment, is even more diffcult to explain. So I won't bore you with the technicalities.
The main thing: I do have a solution. And it may be longer, more arduous, and teeth writhing, hair grabbing, and provoking of frothing madness, but it gets you to the destination eventually and perhaps a little off schedule.
WHY??? Well, If I seek help online through a forum, I have to wait for someone to conjur up the energy to write a solution or, even worse, wait, and then after some hoping get a response in which they request clarification. No, no. Not that I wouldn't want the assistance, I'm patient, but I feel they'll need a visual reference to fully help me with a solution is webdesign savvy. Unfortuantely, I don't know many people who are deeply involved with web design to pick up the phone and call...
Right now-- it just works. It's functioning and its fine, But it's probably the WORST approach possible. It's reminding me of shoving clothing into a closet because you have nowhere to put it while all along wanting to make the room appear clean. In reality, it's not clean. It's a damn mess.
The way I always try to work, is that if I want to get skilled in multiple areas-- I have to not just do it. I have to do it right. Perhaps I am a perfectionist. So be it. Better off crafting for flawlessness than throwing together something with a core filled of careless errors.
I will seek help after to learn. And hope that someone can guide me down a smarter path, but I can't take the time right now to wait for the solution.
It works. But the scenic route, the "real" scenice route is definitely not this way. I've loaded up my Concept content online, and, minus the desciptions, I am almost finished with the life drawing section. You can view both interactive pages here:
Otherwise, here's a snapshot. The same layout, really, as the concept page...
IF ANYONE CARES TO READ THE TECHY END OF THIS THREAD, HERE IT GOES:
Right now, my main struggles are the iframes of the submenu (CHAIN WITH LINKS) and how they are working with the main design pages. I want the chain holding the plates (when clicked) to appear as if its dropping... but when clicking the iframe links, they are referencing each other (and appearing to drop), instead of referencing their complimenting background pages.
I'm not sure if I can keep the iframes but have them reference TWO things when clicked-- I doubt it. Must find out, but, for some reason I believe it might be unlikely without major coding outside of html. This area in particular that I am speaking of:
I could have done flash (it probably would have been easier in the long haul) but I wanted a stop motion sort of feel for now. I may change this later because I really like the organics of flash, but for now.... I like bareboned.
I got rid of the iframes (which I'm not a fan of anyways) and created a div incorporated into the Design Pages, and now have a different Design Page for each "placement" of the plate in each of the following topics: CONCEPTS, CHARACTERS, TATTOOS, LIFE DRAWING, CELL.
Where this leaves me:
WAAAY to many pages for my liking + (besides the changing divs) mostly repitious content per Topic.
I was also considering a php include as an alternative... to cut down the ammount of pages accumlating and slim the site down, but I'm not sure how I would do this when the background needs to change on each topic?
Anways, so yeah.
Techy troubles in the land of web design.
I'll let you know what responses I receive to the problem.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
In Contrary to a "Best Work Only" Portfolio?
Loading in the content is more difficult than I thought. Along with having one of those funk days where I needed to force myself to get motivated to work, I found myself struggling with whether or not I'm adding an overload of content. I heard it quite a bit of times to only show your best work, at least when it comes to demo reels. I'm almost sure the same applies to everything else.
But why, really? Shouldn't one be honest with their selves? Show the strengths that come along with the weaknesses? Display the whole packag, ready for a reaction to the reaction, whether to duck from tomatoes or catch flowers. Take the good comments with the bad? You only learn from this-- and I find it to be a bit pompous for a viewer, employer or other, to not expect someone to have any areas that are more intermediate than others.
My first content page as it currently appears:
So, decidely, I'm putting it all out on the table for review-- and welcoming whatever comes with a sense of levelheadness, that I'm not Boris Valero by far, I adore the talent and design skills of Mr. Bobby Chui and Mr. Jonny Duddle, I admire the success and unabashed realism captured by the females artists Ms. Marta Dahlig and Ms. Katarina Sokolova, all of them are my top favorites and I can never cease to get amazed by the flawlessness of their work, but I'm just me. Just me, and I've given it all I got in my past and I'm still hopeful that I can get even more out myself of the future.
So, again, what's really the right thing to do? Best Work Only ... or All or Nothing? I step with my best foot first, but I do still have two....
Anyways, please do check out the work of these artists. I promise that you'll be floored. All of them are truly amazing:
http://digital-bobert.cgsociety.org/gallery/
http://www.katarinasokolova.com
http://www.blackeri.deviantart.com/gallery
http://www.imaginistix.com
http://www.duddlebug.com
But why, really? Shouldn't one be honest with their selves? Show the strengths that come along with the weaknesses? Display the whole packag, ready for a reaction to the reaction, whether to duck from tomatoes or catch flowers. Take the good comments with the bad? You only learn from this-- and I find it to be a bit pompous for a viewer, employer or other, to not expect someone to have any areas that are more intermediate than others.
My first content page as it currently appears:
So, decidely, I'm putting it all out on the table for review-- and welcoming whatever comes with a sense of levelheadness, that I'm not Boris Valero by far, I adore the talent and design skills of Mr. Bobby Chui and Mr. Jonny Duddle, I admire the success and unabashed realism captured by the females artists Ms. Marta Dahlig and Ms. Katarina Sokolova, all of them are my top favorites and I can never cease to get amazed by the flawlessness of their work, but I'm just me. Just me, and I've given it all I got in my past and I'm still hopeful that I can get even more out myself of the future.
So, again, what's really the right thing to do? Best Work Only ... or All or Nothing? I step with my best foot first, but I do still have two....
Anyways, please do check out the work of these artists. I promise that you'll be floored. All of them are truly amazing:
http://digital-bobert.cgsociety.org/gallery/
http://www.katarinasokolova.com
http://www.blackeri.deviantart.com/gallery
http://www.imaginistix.com
http://www.duddlebug.com
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
The Euphoria Of Seeing A Finish Line...
Tonight I'll be adding in my collection of work to my website. This are stand alone pages that will represent skills outside of my 3D reel from artwork I've built over the last decade. These galleries will display are wide varitey of areas I've dabbled in with some being more specialized than others. Overall, though, I really felt a need to share an general proof of some sense of an ability for each.
My main gripe with this, now... (There's ALWAYS some kind of gripe with me)... is that I won't be able to stuff-up all of the thumbnails. And as I work out the style of the actual galleries during this work session in Photoshop-- I still don't even know how many thumbnails there with be yet. Thinking through, I've been contemplating whether of not to put in "Coming Soon" placeholders icons, sort of like the link icons... and just fill them as I accumlate a denser portfolio, which is next on my list inbetween the free moments I have with my current freelance gig.
I will say that the feeling that surfaces lately from this all: RELIEF. As if crossing the finish line, I do all of the things a finalist would do, with hands on my knees suck in all the breaths I can thankful that I can still breathe, throw back my chin to the sky with a jug of water to my lips remembering the taste of water that I just want to forget while along the way, the wedgie factor finally freed without worry of reoccurence, the anticipation of a shower and a massage........
OK, so I'm overexaggerating. :)
But you get the idea of how I starting to feel.
Now back to the finish line I haven't QUITE crossed yet. Well, hello, focus!
I'm not sure if I should sprint, but I know that the last couple two days I was running at a slow pace in luxury of thinking I'm actually winning-- Watching movies, exercising, reading, socializing with coworkers at my airline job over dinner and drinks... And it feels like bliss.
As I would imagine a marathon runner would feel as they look ahead and saw the end of the 26.something miles they just invested. The story of the mararthon, however, in hopefully not in my own fate. My friend, Geroge, I credit this knowledge to, but quote it from the wonderful works of Wikipedia:
"The traditional story relates that Pheidippides (530 BC–490 BC), an Athenian herald, was sent to Sparta to request help when the Persians landed at Marathon, Greece. He ran 240 km (150 miles) in two days. He then ran the 40 km (25 miles) from the battlefield near Marathon to Athens to announce the Greek victory over Persia in the Battle of Marathon (490 BC) with the word "Νενικήκαμεν" (Nenikékamen, "We have won") and collapsed and died on the spot from exhaustion."
I reinstate my euphoria, yes, although after I do finally finish this site after my long haul of alliance to it, I am hopeful to avoid the "collapse and died" extreme. I feel quite exhausted, but still can't wait to go out and have some downtime and then advance onward to other personal projects!
My main gripe with this, now... (There's ALWAYS some kind of gripe with me)... is that I won't be able to stuff-up all of the thumbnails. And as I work out the style of the actual galleries during this work session in Photoshop-- I still don't even know how many thumbnails there with be yet. Thinking through, I've been contemplating whether of not to put in "Coming Soon" placeholders icons, sort of like the link icons... and just fill them as I accumlate a denser portfolio, which is next on my list inbetween the free moments I have with my current freelance gig.
I will say that the feeling that surfaces lately from this all: RELIEF. As if crossing the finish line, I do all of the things a finalist would do, with hands on my knees suck in all the breaths I can thankful that I can still breathe, throw back my chin to the sky with a jug of water to my lips remembering the taste of water that I just want to forget while along the way, the wedgie factor finally freed without worry of reoccurence, the anticipation of a shower and a massage........
OK, so I'm overexaggerating. :)
But you get the idea of how I starting to feel.
Now back to the finish line I haven't QUITE crossed yet. Well, hello, focus!
I'm not sure if I should sprint, but I know that the last couple two days I was running at a slow pace in luxury of thinking I'm actually winning-- Watching movies, exercising, reading, socializing with coworkers at my airline job over dinner and drinks... And it feels like bliss.
As I would imagine a marathon runner would feel as they look ahead and saw the end of the 26.something miles they just invested. The story of the mararthon, however, in hopefully not in my own fate. My friend, Geroge, I credit this knowledge to, but quote it from the wonderful works of Wikipedia:
"The traditional story relates that Pheidippides (530 BC–490 BC), an Athenian herald, was sent to Sparta to request help when the Persians landed at Marathon, Greece. He ran 240 km (150 miles) in two days. He then ran the 40 km (25 miles) from the battlefield near Marathon to Athens to announce the Greek victory over Persia in the Battle of Marathon (490 BC) with the word "Νενικήκαμεν" (Nenikékamen, "We have won") and collapsed and died on the spot from exhaustion."
I reinstate my euphoria, yes, although after I do finally finish this site after my long haul of alliance to it, I am hopeful to avoid the "collapse and died" extreme. I feel quite exhausted, but still can't wait to go out and have some downtime and then advance onward to other personal projects!
Saturday, January 15, 2011
So, It's been awhile...
Things have been hectic, Things have been busy, but still nothing much has seemed to change in my life. I can't say I'm necessarily happy, and not necessarily sad. Overall I'm content with a few ticks of discontent. Sometimes I wish that things would pick up a bit more or move a little faster, but that's always been the way I operate. I keep trying to remind myself that there's no rush, but time goes by so quickly and I there's still so many things left unchecked on my to-do list.
I still feel the need to keep the world posted on what I've been up, too, as if to soothe over some guilt that you all may feel I'm lazy. Please believe, I've been working my toosh off. Always am with occasional slumps of downtime outside of my job at the airlines. Yes, next month will be a whopping 10 years in the airlines business <--- That's the epitome of time flying right there.
So, here's what been on the home front of my true passion. My art. I've decided to go with a new theme for my website versus the lame theme I started blogging about way back in 2006. Over time, I filed away ideas and inspirations of other work I had seen, including mediums outside of the presentation of an attractive website.
I found inspiration in the 3D reels of other artists, the mood and balances of digital paintings, and over exaggeration and feature of character designs... I just wanted to store away all that I could (even added some to my favorites) and thankfully I felt somewhat fulfilled by all the talents out there rather than discouraged. And now I find that I'm on the road to try and be part of that line up.
I start with the presentation right now: My new site, Carousel Science, which should be completed, skimmed of all junk coding, equipped with clean and fluid navigation, and ready for an official shout out on Facebook by the end of next week. This 3D version of personal web project of mine has been in the works since the end of the summer, but had to be put on hold a few times for some freelancing. Oddly enough, the work I've been getting of late HAS been web design. I feel that presentation, at very least, says a whole bunch of something, if it isn't looked at as being 'everything' in this day and age.
2011: I've defined more of a focus now on what I aspire to do as a career with the help of some friends I've made over the summer. I don't want to jinx myself so I will withhold from that revealing that label. In any event, I'm not quite there yet and I am welcoming all work in any medium.
Currently, my most recent venture, between the airlines and this web design, is hashing out the preliminary rounds of a web-mercial for a shower drainage system. I can't post the thumbnails or storyboards yet because I'm still in production, but will take you through my process after I wrap the project up.
I expect the project to last around 2 months or so... It is only me and I running it the way I was schooled to run it-- thumbnails, boards, animatics, model sheets and modeling, layout and placement, filling into animatic placeholders to make a previs, and then onto replacing the previs with finalized comps, postwork, sound fx, etc etc etc. (That long list of stuff ahead that I try not to think about except in broken terms and one at a time) Otherwise, it's overwhelming.
My largest trouble, I predict, will be figuring out the technicalities of the best and most time-efficient way to approach the shots in 3D. R+D, gotta love it.
Anyways, it's nice to have the time to sneak in a small comeback on here. And I really am set on keeping these post steady.
The term Carousel Science the theory that all life is a cyclic science only because without science we wouldn't have technology, and without history we wouldn't have the ability to advance technology . They are both borrowed necessities to the fundamental roots of improving the future of life.
Here are some screenshots of my revamped site of 2011:
I wanted a hybrid of both the natural and the mechanical, as my opinion is a close relation to our current time... A Juxtaposition, as well, motion from stills, to convey stop motion. I aimed for RAW and user friendly as possible-- (flash and Javascript free with a 600x800 center of interest).
My next steps are to finish cleaning up the remaining files, to work out iframe issues, then load up my work, and get a functioning CSS image preloader to diminish any choppiness or wait-time after loading.
If anyone would like a how-to on any component that you may like in my site, please feel free to comment and I'd be glad to assist where I can.
Thanks for reading and for being there.
It's good to be back!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Closer To Completion....
I'll make this short. I'm exhausted.
I have a week to get this side design done. This is the closest it's been to the initial concept art. I'm generally happy with the composition and feel of it, but there's still alot to be done.
-The background columns are photoshop cutouts. I have yet to model them in 3d, and add the cityscapes on top.
-The color correction, or just plain lighting all around, was thrown in for color scheme purposes. It's still very basic, very flat, and very off kilter with the background.
-The geometry in the clouds (together as a whole) still doesn't look stylistically systematic. Some have more shading than other underneath, and others are way too bubbly for my tastes... the one in the middle bothers me the most!
-The stars aren't morphed into shape. I'd like to hand-morph each one individually to give them their own uniqueness.
-The piece isn't entirely quads, so that I can't bring it into the texturing software, yet. And, yes, I still need to map out the UVs. (Sigh) But, I am looking forward to experimenting with how I want to texture the image. I've had enough time to think about it while model my sorry life away.
So, to cut it short and sweet, there's still a lot to do. Some tasks I may breeze through faster than other tasks. ***I need to worry most about the most important... I need to take a step back and stop looking so up close.***
It's crunch time, now.
Because if I don't get it done this week, I may not be able to get to it for another couple weeks. And in another couple weeks, I want to be able to move onto the next step... Incorporating more design elements (in the text/header and so on) and, hopefully sooner rather than later, mixing those elements together into flash.
I'll save the animation for last, because I figure once I can see the site as a whole, I'll get more of a feel for how I want to approach the animation-- what will draw the most attention and what I'd like to keep sutle.
So, as promised, here it is so far. I hope that you like it.
Monday, April 02, 2007
"NEXUS" by Lisa Marie Erickson
The smell of roses in spring after the settling of a misty morning helped give her a calming breath. She was washing away a long morning just like those roses washed away the dew, and she was taking a brisk walk in the park to pull in some sunlight before heading back to school.
Hooky. She couldn't help herself. Sometimes it was hard to sit still under the soft humming of flourescent lights and the voice of her teacher tossing numbers at the chalkboard. Her stomach was growling, so she slipped out the back doors of the gymnasium and was now on a tangent journey towards the bookstore.
The park was empty and beautiful. So, she laid on the grass and stared up at the heavy patches breaking up a clearing sky. She watched one cloud in particular, because it reminded her of a stuffed bear and smiled back at it softly to herself as it warped and smiled down at her.
A gust of wind rode over her and made its way into the forest, and soon the warmth of the rays took chill, and the cloud she had been looking at crept over the sun blocking the sharpness of the light.
The dark was more peacful on her eyes. Her body, craddled in the grass, felt weightless with the wind as it began to take her off into her own visions of what surrounded her. But underneath her lids, and beneath her eyes, and deeper still into the depths of her subconscious things grew even darker...
The sun began to burn away her body. The slaps of a storm twisted her hair into knots. The grass, shards of glass, puncturing through her clothes as she tried to twist and pull herself awake, off of the ground, anywhere but where she lay.
She knew that she was trapped, pinned down by toes of the trees in the enclosing forest, as there roots grew underneath the surface of the ground, breaking up the mud and lifting the rocks, spreading away from their towering bodies and encapsuling her like a cocoon.
She gasped for breath, her ribs crushing against her chest so she could only take a stifled puff, swallowing fumes that scorched down her dry throat, blistering down into her lungs, and swelling it to the point where she breathed only through a small open thread. What little air she had left, she tried to scream out. Nothing sounded and everything became silent around her. A butterfly fluttered by, pushing and zigzagging its way through and disappearing freely into the denseness.
The coating of fog above her hovered over as the cover to her casket with enough light surfacing to almost see the charcoal sky beyond and nothing more.
She dropped her head back against the prickling ground, and let the blood drip from the back of her skull to wash the sweat from her body. And with a chill, she closed her eyes to allow herself to die.
And, again, it all grew even darker...
Friday, March 30, 2007
"My Famous Dog"
I'm in one of those moods:
A couple weeks ago at my job, on a long trip away from home, I was sitting down for breakfast after a long work filled night, slaving away at the computer in pursuit of my dreams. The night was manic like. I'm tired. Than, the 'ambition' adrenalin kicks in.
At the end of it all, breakfast seemed like a treat.
And it was. I mingled with my fellow employees, ate healthy, and didn't give a crap what I looked like because I knew that the night had satisfied me much more than looking overtired and strung out.
When I finally felt stuffed enough to pull my view from the food infront of me there sat a familiar face that I hadn't see in a while. Pleasant. I nibbled at my food and took in her conversation with the lady adjacent to her. I'm so shot, I'd still rather eat and listen, anyway. Food-and-bed factor were most important.
So, I listen... And as soon as I gave her my attention, the lady turns her attention on me. I was just listening, really, but I made the mistake of looking up. She didn't have to say a word to me. I wouldn't have minded eating my breakfast without a word and heading up to my bed. Again, I'm there for the food and a quick 'hey, morning' to my own crew.
But she did... She said a mouthful around both her coffee and food. Who would have guessed? Multi-talented.
Now, even though she was a familiar face and I felt acquainted with her, she was still a stranger to me, really. And although you'd never guess she would know me enough to really remember me in those piercing aged eyes of hers, she apparently felt she knew me well enough to take a stab. Or maybe I shouldn't have taken it so personally.
Of course, I didn't know the lady sitting next to her. So, I smile politely. The lady seemed friendly enough. She smiled back, and turned her attention on the soft throat clearing surfacing next to her. Those piercing eyes pull me back in, then avert my eyes to the iron pressed smile on her lips. She was taking pleasure, as she spoke:
"Now, I know you said you got your dog in a show on stage..." She begins.
I did. He was cast in Annie's dog in "Annie". I nod.
(This was like four years ago)
I begin to reminisce.
I love my dog and all that. What a fun experience, you know. I remember thinking that I wanted to capture a memory of him. And I did. So much as to see it clearly then and now. And I laugh, as I remember one night he bolted off the stage, too, and brought the poor lead to tears. I smile to myself, even though the community theatre was a bit dry on my own behalf. It was a little bit of a depressing time. But the memory was great.... Where is she going with this, I think to myself, especially with that look she had on her face, basking in whatever she was feeling.
"Yeah," I said.
"I always expect to hear about you leaving," she quickly comments about the job, glancing over at her quiet neighbor. A hearty laugh from beaten lungs follows. "I didn't know you're dog was going to be the famous one."
Dropkicked, I sit there. Ouch. My stomach is now in my heart, like she kicked me in the *unt. It hurt. I sat there like an idiot, screaming out profanities in my head with nothing sounding from my mouth, not even indigestion, or a burp, to release into her line of path. Quick wit felt like quicksand.
She was a co-worker. And it was nice to see a familiar face. But she didn't know me. My sensitivity balloon just popped inside, spilling my emotions out all the way to the very tips of my fingers. I was almost clucthing the table.... Now, if I felt I let myself down as far as my acting career goes, that was my business. But, I guess that's why it hurt so bad. Because it is my business.
The lady next to her laughed too. Not as loud as the other, but enough to keep the atmosphere from going stale. God forbid it did. There can never be a dull moment with a bunch of people that don't know each other. Just put a bunch of strangers together for an extended amount of time and see who survives the longest.
Unless they're perfect strangers. Right. To me, there's no middle ground between not knowing someone and knowing someone. If you know someone enough, it's okay to step out of bounds once in awhile, I guess. It happens. And it happens even when you don't know someone, but.... you would think people knew better. Especially a grown adult. Maybe she felt she knew me well enough.
Or maybe she was just trying to hurt my feelings, so that she could...? I don't know if she honestly could've felt any better about herself. Hmm. Perhaps, she didn't realize just how sensitive I was. Or maybe she just didn't think I was sensitive at all. Insensitivity apparently exists.
Familiar faces doesn't mean closeness. Familiar faces are faces that you know you've seen around and you have to familiarize yourself with them again, so that you know the face. I hated the fact that I was familiar with her at that moment, because I still felt I had to be cordial for some reason. Even if I hadn't known her, I'd probably be modest. You have to be modest with co-workers. My dreams were nothing to her in the begining, middle, and throughout the conversation of a short lived conversation. She left shortly after that.
What the hell does she care, I thought. So, it shouldn't have bothered me as much as it did...
I guess it bothered me because she didn't give a crap about me AND felt she had to sucker-punch me in the process. She didn't mean it, though. So, cheers to useless time-filling conversation.
I never had the dream of being famous. But, then again, I never thought I'd be compared to my famous dog.
And I sit here tonight, bothered by myself. Just about hating to coexist with myself. Slightly depressed considering all levels of depression, but fuctioning on a lackadaisical level to try and make myself feel better.
My short story. My lovely job to build up experiences that will become either fuzzy or clear memories. And nothing more, except the good things fighting their way to filter out all the bad inside.
I love to dream. Sometimes I dream that I'm living in a dream. Because in ironies of reality, coexistence almost seems fictional. We've all experienced this heightened sense of being on the outside looking in at the pangs of your life under the judgement of others. And it's even more horrible if you're not happy with your life on some level or another. You either walk away or you sit there completely dumbfounded.
Sometimes it makes you feel like this:
Hah. I think this entry helped me get over it. Whatever with it.
Only I am responsible for being happy with my life. No one else will bring me any farther down but myself. If I can live a life where I would have time to do everything that I hoped to do, I know that I tried my hardest to live my life to its fullest. That's enough for me. I'll try my hardest to do it all.
There's my moral. (I knew I had a point somewhere)
These are old, old, old drawings of mine. Almost ten years old some of them. I've learned a lot since then. The abstraction's too complicated. One day, once my site is done, I'd like to break them down into simplfied shapes, and work on a turn table and poses for all of them, just like I'm doing with Billy.
I'd like to bring them into Photoshop and redo them all digitally. Then, bring them into the 3d software and make an entire world for them. (Yes, ten years of work at my rate...lol) But that's one of my dreams.
I broke my promise of posting up my web image. I seemed to have taken a small temporary turn doing another 'off the wagon' piece. It's ok. I wanted to come onto this blog with something tonight since I haven't be here in a while.
So, there was a bit of my past.
And the present. I've got a nice little vacation planned in two weeks. I've been exercising regularly. I've been working with my new tablet. And my bills finally dropping to the point I can feel not too worried anymore. Just, still, not enough time for everything.
Here's a couple more sketches of Billy:
I wanted to draw him in out of element situations to test how comfortable I'm getting with drawing him. I'm pretty happy with the drawing, although I would've liked to capture a little more emotion in the suit drawing. And he seems a little stiff and anatomically inaccurate somewhere in his right arm in the cannonball pose. I think it's the overlapping of the muscles in his elbow. And his right foot, too.
But overall, I think they're a good start. (Eventually I'll get all of his drawings digital and posted up on this blog together)
Whether it be old work or new work... I'll post some more stuff tomorrow.
A couple weeks ago at my job, on a long trip away from home, I was sitting down for breakfast after a long work filled night, slaving away at the computer in pursuit of my dreams. The night was manic like. I'm tired. Than, the 'ambition' adrenalin kicks in.
At the end of it all, breakfast seemed like a treat.
And it was. I mingled with my fellow employees, ate healthy, and didn't give a crap what I looked like because I knew that the night had satisfied me much more than looking overtired and strung out.
When I finally felt stuffed enough to pull my view from the food infront of me there sat a familiar face that I hadn't see in a while. Pleasant. I nibbled at my food and took in her conversation with the lady adjacent to her. I'm so shot, I'd still rather eat and listen, anyway. Food-and-bed factor were most important.
So, I listen... And as soon as I gave her my attention, the lady turns her attention on me. I was just listening, really, but I made the mistake of looking up. She didn't have to say a word to me. I wouldn't have minded eating my breakfast without a word and heading up to my bed. Again, I'm there for the food and a quick 'hey, morning' to my own crew.
But she did... She said a mouthful around both her coffee and food. Who would have guessed? Multi-talented.
Now, even though she was a familiar face and I felt acquainted with her, she was still a stranger to me, really. And although you'd never guess she would know me enough to really remember me in those piercing aged eyes of hers, she apparently felt she knew me well enough to take a stab. Or maybe I shouldn't have taken it so personally.
Of course, I didn't know the lady sitting next to her. So, I smile politely. The lady seemed friendly enough. She smiled back, and turned her attention on the soft throat clearing surfacing next to her. Those piercing eyes pull me back in, then avert my eyes to the iron pressed smile on her lips. She was taking pleasure, as she spoke:
"Now, I know you said you got your dog in a show on stage..." She begins.
I did. He was cast in Annie's dog in "Annie". I nod.
(This was like four years ago)
I begin to reminisce.
I love my dog and all that. What a fun experience, you know. I remember thinking that I wanted to capture a memory of him. And I did. So much as to see it clearly then and now. And I laugh, as I remember one night he bolted off the stage, too, and brought the poor lead to tears. I smile to myself, even though the community theatre was a bit dry on my own behalf. It was a little bit of a depressing time. But the memory was great.... Where is she going with this, I think to myself, especially with that look she had on her face, basking in whatever she was feeling.
"Yeah," I said.
"I always expect to hear about you leaving," she quickly comments about the job, glancing over at her quiet neighbor. A hearty laugh from beaten lungs follows. "I didn't know you're dog was going to be the famous one."
Dropkicked, I sit there. Ouch. My stomach is now in my heart, like she kicked me in the *unt. It hurt. I sat there like an idiot, screaming out profanities in my head with nothing sounding from my mouth, not even indigestion, or a burp, to release into her line of path. Quick wit felt like quicksand.
She was a co-worker. And it was nice to see a familiar face. But she didn't know me. My sensitivity balloon just popped inside, spilling my emotions out all the way to the very tips of my fingers. I was almost clucthing the table.... Now, if I felt I let myself down as far as my acting career goes, that was my business. But, I guess that's why it hurt so bad. Because it is my business.
The lady next to her laughed too. Not as loud as the other, but enough to keep the atmosphere from going stale. God forbid it did. There can never be a dull moment with a bunch of people that don't know each other. Just put a bunch of strangers together for an extended amount of time and see who survives the longest.
Unless they're perfect strangers. Right. To me, there's no middle ground between not knowing someone and knowing someone. If you know someone enough, it's okay to step out of bounds once in awhile, I guess. It happens. And it happens even when you don't know someone, but.... you would think people knew better. Especially a grown adult. Maybe she felt she knew me well enough.
Or maybe she was just trying to hurt my feelings, so that she could...? I don't know if she honestly could've felt any better about herself. Hmm. Perhaps, she didn't realize just how sensitive I was. Or maybe she just didn't think I was sensitive at all. Insensitivity apparently exists.
Familiar faces doesn't mean closeness. Familiar faces are faces that you know you've seen around and you have to familiarize yourself with them again, so that you know the face. I hated the fact that I was familiar with her at that moment, because I still felt I had to be cordial for some reason. Even if I hadn't known her, I'd probably be modest. You have to be modest with co-workers. My dreams were nothing to her in the begining, middle, and throughout the conversation of a short lived conversation. She left shortly after that.
What the hell does she care, I thought. So, it shouldn't have bothered me as much as it did...
I guess it bothered me because she didn't give a crap about me AND felt she had to sucker-punch me in the process. She didn't mean it, though. So, cheers to useless time-filling conversation.
I never had the dream of being famous. But, then again, I never thought I'd be compared to my famous dog.
And I sit here tonight, bothered by myself. Just about hating to coexist with myself. Slightly depressed considering all levels of depression, but fuctioning on a lackadaisical level to try and make myself feel better.
My short story. My lovely job to build up experiences that will become either fuzzy or clear memories. And nothing more, except the good things fighting their way to filter out all the bad inside.
I love to dream. Sometimes I dream that I'm living in a dream. Because in ironies of reality, coexistence almost seems fictional. We've all experienced this heightened sense of being on the outside looking in at the pangs of your life under the judgement of others. And it's even more horrible if you're not happy with your life on some level or another. You either walk away or you sit there completely dumbfounded.
Sometimes it makes you feel like this:
Hah. I think this entry helped me get over it. Whatever with it.
Only I am responsible for being happy with my life. No one else will bring me any farther down but myself. If I can live a life where I would have time to do everything that I hoped to do, I know that I tried my hardest to live my life to its fullest. That's enough for me. I'll try my hardest to do it all.
There's my moral. (I knew I had a point somewhere)
These are old, old, old drawings of mine. Almost ten years old some of them. I've learned a lot since then. The abstraction's too complicated. One day, once my site is done, I'd like to break them down into simplfied shapes, and work on a turn table and poses for all of them, just like I'm doing with Billy.
I'd like to bring them into Photoshop and redo them all digitally. Then, bring them into the 3d software and make an entire world for them. (Yes, ten years of work at my rate...lol) But that's one of my dreams.
I broke my promise of posting up my web image. I seemed to have taken a small temporary turn doing another 'off the wagon' piece. It's ok. I wanted to come onto this blog with something tonight since I haven't be here in a while.
So, there was a bit of my past.
And the present. I've got a nice little vacation planned in two weeks. I've been exercising regularly. I've been working with my new tablet. And my bills finally dropping to the point I can feel not too worried anymore. Just, still, not enough time for everything.
Here's a couple more sketches of Billy:
I wanted to draw him in out of element situations to test how comfortable I'm getting with drawing him. I'm pretty happy with the drawing, although I would've liked to capture a little more emotion in the suit drawing. And he seems a little stiff and anatomically inaccurate somewhere in his right arm in the cannonball pose. I think it's the overlapping of the muscles in his elbow. And his right foot, too.
But overall, I think they're a good start. (Eventually I'll get all of his drawings digital and posted up on this blog together)
Whether it be old work or new work... I'll post some more stuff tomorrow.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
R+R Ahead...
So, it's half way through March. I've been away from home for over a week now. And since writing to this blog last, I have been working non-stop at my job to clear out my schedule for the end of the month. Yes, Rest and Relaxation is not to far ahead.
I'm going home tomorrow with a long fifteen hour flight infront of me, prepped for a much needed weekend and anticipating a two to three week break mid next week.
So while I was away, I tried to consume myself with as much devotion to my website as I could. Although I feel I would have benefited more by being home and not bouncing around to five trillion different countries, I feel I got a semi-decent ammount of work done (Always think could've been more somehow). But still....
I'm looking forward to the next couple of weeks. I know that my site will start noticeably pulling together then.
Now that the design is close to being mapped, I'll bring it into the site and measure it up, so I know how much space I'm dealing with. And then, I can start adding in the other design elements.
My next entry, I will post the finished untextured design.
I'll close it with that. It's been a long couple of weeks. But work is work. And even though I'm traveling a lot right now, I guess I should be grateful that I can still find the time to pursue my dream while I'm at work. I wouldn't be able to do it in many other jobs... So in some ways, while I am hiddenly miserable at my current job, it has its small perks here and there.
Just ahead of this, more of my passion will be following. I promise that lots of artwork will once again fill up this blog.
Patience and ambition are what keeping me going. I can only hope that I don't give up on myself before the site's done.
I'm going home tomorrow with a long fifteen hour flight infront of me, prepped for a much needed weekend and anticipating a two to three week break mid next week.
So while I was away, I tried to consume myself with as much devotion to my website as I could. Although I feel I would have benefited more by being home and not bouncing around to five trillion different countries, I feel I got a semi-decent ammount of work done (Always think could've been more somehow). But still....
I'm looking forward to the next couple of weeks. I know that my site will start noticeably pulling together then.
Now that the design is close to being mapped, I'll bring it into the site and measure it up, so I know how much space I'm dealing with. And then, I can start adding in the other design elements.
My next entry, I will post the finished untextured design.
I'll close it with that. It's been a long couple of weeks. But work is work. And even though I'm traveling a lot right now, I guess I should be grateful that I can still find the time to pursue my dream while I'm at work. I wouldn't be able to do it in many other jobs... So in some ways, while I am hiddenly miserable at my current job, it has its small perks here and there.
Just ahead of this, more of my passion will be following. I promise that lots of artwork will once again fill up this blog.
Patience and ambition are what keeping me going. I can only hope that I don't give up on myself before the site's done.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Back to "THE JOB"
As I suspected, it's been really crazy. I've been out of the country for almost six days now. I have two more days to go before I get back to the United States.
It's been difficult concentrating. On one end, I want to tuck myself away in my room and submerse myself in my work. On the other end, I'm tired, I want to be social, and I'm used to working in my designated office in the basement of my home.
I've gotten a little work done, but unfortauntely I'd forgotten to install the highest version of my software onto my laptop, so at my first attempt I haven't been able to open up my files.
I had to start from stratch: Reimport the original drawing .jpeg and model the clouds I haven't gotten to yet. I've almost completed Cloud #6.
So, besides eating exotic foods, catching up on my sleep, running errands, and some miminal hustling at the gym, I've been occupying myself watching tutorials and working on a project the my friend and I had started working on a few months back. I'd like to get back to that at some point soon, as well.
At this rate, traveling and relocating every two days drains me. All I want to do is relax, and I can't stand that, because I hate relaxing when I know I have a lot to do. So here I am, *itching and complaining.
But the poistive end of things, are that are am neraly done with the modeling end of the side design. I'd give myself another week or so, if I can summon up the energy around 'the job'. It's going to be straight job-working for the next two weeks or so, with a day off or two in between each shift. So, I can't predict how long it will take to get the design done, but I can try to use my dedication to know that know matter how long it takes me, it will get it done. All of it.
So, I'm off to finish this cloud, and take a nice bath, and, yes, backwards it is and I am, get myself to the 24-hour-gym for a run.
It's been difficult concentrating. On one end, I want to tuck myself away in my room and submerse myself in my work. On the other end, I'm tired, I want to be social, and I'm used to working in my designated office in the basement of my home.
I've gotten a little work done, but unfortauntely I'd forgotten to install the highest version of my software onto my laptop, so at my first attempt I haven't been able to open up my files.
I had to start from stratch: Reimport the original drawing .jpeg and model the clouds I haven't gotten to yet. I've almost completed Cloud #6.
So, besides eating exotic foods, catching up on my sleep, running errands, and some miminal hustling at the gym, I've been occupying myself watching tutorials and working on a project the my friend and I had started working on a few months back. I'd like to get back to that at some point soon, as well.
At this rate, traveling and relocating every two days drains me. All I want to do is relax, and I can't stand that, because I hate relaxing when I know I have a lot to do. So here I am, *itching and complaining.
But the poistive end of things, are that are am neraly done with the modeling end of the side design. I'd give myself another week or so, if I can summon up the energy around 'the job'. It's going to be straight job-working for the next two weeks or so, with a day off or two in between each shift. So, I can't predict how long it will take to get the design done, but I can try to use my dedication to know that know matter how long it takes me, it will get it done. All of it.
So, I'm off to finish this cloud, and take a nice bath, and, yes, backwards it is and I am, get myself to the 24-hour-gym for a run.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
In the Midst of a Busy Schedule...
So the break is over. I've decided the best course of action to be most effective with putting the right attention on my artwork, would be a work in chunks... To bid two weeks on the 'real' job and two weeks off the real job. This will allow the proper focus my work deserves. These last to weeks, besides some much-needed life-breaks, were really beneficial. And I'd like to keep up with the pace I was on.
My schedule for the next two and a half weeks will be overloaded with my real job. Although, it's kind of depressing, I guess I was ready to get back to work. Today marks my sixth year at my job. Six longs years at that company. Went by fast.
So I'm bidding my schedule for March accordingly. First two weeks on, last couple weeks off. And I'll condense that time off with the begining of April, so I could have even more of a gap of time off. Hopefully it will work out.
In any event, I'm on Cloud #5. Finished Cloud #4 tonight. I have two more clouds to go, after #5. Then, it's off to touch them up so they look identical to one another. And to quad-check them, so that I'll be able to export them into another application for further detail.
Once I finished the hashed-out design, I'll export it to Photoshop and get the scaling of the image right so that it fits correctly with the site. That way I'll know how much background I'll need without distorting the image. And from there, I can add the other background designs I had in mind....
Then, to texture. Then, animate.
Sounds like a lot of work. But when I think about it, if I had more time, it wouldn't be.... What to do? Oh well. Have to make money.
So, in the middle of a ran-sack weeks, while stuck on the plane, I can't really do much computer-wise. So, I plan on using that time to catch up on my magazines, learn some more, and fill up my sketch book with more poses of Billy. And start some new gestures with another old character I've been meaning to get to.
I've been itching to write to my screenplays lately, too. I don't know when I'll find the time to concentrate on that, but hopefully it will be sooner rather than later.
It's been hard focusing on one thing; more effort than actually working on that one thing... I'm surpised at myself for keeping on track this far, but I guess the drive is has been more overbearing then everything else.
Where, though, has my life gone? Friday night, and I have to be up in four hours for a sixteen hour work day... Back in the day, I would have been taking my chances oversleeping for work on a night out at the bar. Now, I take my chances oversleeping on a night over my computer. Yes, I've turned into a 26-year old geek, and I love it.
Man, I can use a drink, though. On that note.... :) Good night.
My schedule for the next two and a half weeks will be overloaded with my real job. Although, it's kind of depressing, I guess I was ready to get back to work. Today marks my sixth year at my job. Six longs years at that company. Went by fast.
So I'm bidding my schedule for March accordingly. First two weeks on, last couple weeks off. And I'll condense that time off with the begining of April, so I could have even more of a gap of time off. Hopefully it will work out.
In any event, I'm on Cloud #5. Finished Cloud #4 tonight. I have two more clouds to go, after #5. Then, it's off to touch them up so they look identical to one another. And to quad-check them, so that I'll be able to export them into another application for further detail.
Once I finished the hashed-out design, I'll export it to Photoshop and get the scaling of the image right so that it fits correctly with the site. That way I'll know how much background I'll need without distorting the image. And from there, I can add the other background designs I had in mind....
Then, to texture. Then, animate.
Sounds like a lot of work. But when I think about it, if I had more time, it wouldn't be.... What to do? Oh well. Have to make money.
So, in the middle of a ran-sack weeks, while stuck on the plane, I can't really do much computer-wise. So, I plan on using that time to catch up on my magazines, learn some more, and fill up my sketch book with more poses of Billy. And start some new gestures with another old character I've been meaning to get to.
I've been itching to write to my screenplays lately, too. I don't know when I'll find the time to concentrate on that, but hopefully it will be sooner rather than later.
It's been hard focusing on one thing; more effort than actually working on that one thing... I'm surpised at myself for keeping on track this far, but I guess the drive is has been more overbearing then everything else.
Where, though, has my life gone? Friday night, and I have to be up in four hours for a sixteen hour work day... Back in the day, I would have been taking my chances oversleeping for work on a night out at the bar. Now, I take my chances oversleeping on a night over my computer. Yes, I've turned into a 26-year old geek, and I love it.
Man, I can use a drink, though. On that note.... :) Good night.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Behind Schedule...
So, here's the updated model of the cloud. It's looks like the drawing, so that's a start. The only thing I'm not satisfied with is the depth of the ropes, but I guess I could fix that up with the lighting and once I start texturing. The texture otherwise is too basic against the background.
My original plan was to get all the clouds done by Wednesday. That's not going to happen... I'd rather take my time and make it look good, than plow through.
I'm completely wiped out from pushing points around all night. So, I'll leave this blog at that. My only concern is once everything's put together that the flow and feel is consistent.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
COUNTDOWN.
One week left before I have to go back to work. Two more days before I go away to see my Uncle in California... and a whole *hit-ton of stuff to do.
I officially think I may have a love/hate realtionship with 3D. I can't stand it. But I love it. How would one reason that? It just takes forever and a day. The end grafication, as awesome as it is, isn't as immediate as I would like.
And polygon clouds? Ugh. I'm fairly happy with the way the one cloud is coming along so far. It's just hard to handle the flow of all of the faces in a non-uniformed geometry. I know I'm complaining about it more than praising it.
I'll love it more when I finish. It will give my a sense of accomplishment. It always does. I know this whole site will, if prayfully I could manage to get it done.
I still have a lot of work to do on cloud1, so I won't leave you with a close up of it just yet. I messed around with some textures in photoshop, but I'm still brainstorming exactly just what I want to do. I know I want the starholders to be like golden cords, weaved like ropes. And I think I might want a sense of crosshatch like the drawings have.
The short of my goal is to finish the modeling of the Side Design before I go away... Let's see if I can do it. I think I may need some luck, but then again I can always just duplicate if I run out of time.
It will be done by Wednesday. And since I probably won't have much time to work on my computer while I'm away, I'll probably just focus on photoshop-ing Billy.
Friday, February 02, 2007
So Here's The Plan
Tonight I figured I'd try and start the side design for my website. I've been thinking about it for weeks now. The image below is my first drawing that inspired me to become an animator. It was drawn about ten years ago, when I was in highschool and was chosen to be on the front cover of "Ozone", my school's newspaper. Felt good, especially since he looks pretty scary. lol.
Anyway, enough of it's history. But it did centralize my passion in both character design and animation. I drew my side view soon afterward and it's all down a crumbling-starving-artist hill from there. :)
(Here's Clown's side image)
...So... The Clouds...
**This is just a quick test I did tonight. Not the final version**
That's sort of the stlye I'm going for in the side image of my sight, but fluffier. The edges of the clouds are a little too sharp. But I'm going to use these clouds with the stars connected by cords. The stars will be golden and sparkling.
Upon opening the page the stars will swing from right to left and point toward the main menu, releasing a golden pixie dust across the background...
In the end it will take longer piecing apart the clown drawing than just drawing the clouds over again in the layout I want... So, unfortunately, I'm going to have to head back to the drawing board-- literally speaking)
So I'm undecided if I should work in solely Photoshop. Or if I should model everything in 3D then bring the render into Photoshop. I think I'd like the latter, because the dimensions would be real and the shadows would be real. I'm thinking of going for a very subtle greenish lighting (undecided on that, too). But I do know I want the stars to look embossed like heavy plates of gold. So, I'll probably model them out in 3D and if things aren't looking as planned, I'll use Photoshop as the alternative.
The side image will set the tone of the rest of the page (buttons, blocks, and so on), so I have to get this done first.
So, my course of action for the next week, while I work on 'digifying' Billy's designs. It feels like that would be a lot time but at the same time a week seems short right now.
On that note, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow at twelve, so I'm off to struggle into resting mode and hopefully brianstorm myself to unconsciousness.
Anyway, enough of it's history. But it did centralize my passion in both character design and animation. I drew my side view soon afterward and it's all down a crumbling-starving-artist hill from there. :)
**This is just a quick test I did tonight. Not the final version**
That's sort of the stlye I'm going for in the side image of my sight, but fluffier. The edges of the clouds are a little too sharp. But I'm going to use these clouds with the stars connected by cords. The stars will be golden and sparkling.
Upon opening the page the stars will swing from right to left and point toward the main menu, releasing a golden pixie dust across the background...
In the end it will take longer piecing apart the clown drawing than just drawing the clouds over again in the layout I want... So, unfortunately, I'm going to have to head back to the drawing board-- literally speaking)
So I'm undecided if I should work in solely Photoshop. Or if I should model everything in 3D then bring the render into Photoshop. I think I'd like the latter, because the dimensions would be real and the shadows would be real. I'm thinking of going for a very subtle greenish lighting (undecided on that, too). But I do know I want the stars to look embossed like heavy plates of gold. So, I'll probably model them out in 3D and if things aren't looking as planned, I'll use Photoshop as the alternative.
The side image will set the tone of the rest of the page (buttons, blocks, and so on), so I have to get this done first.
So, my course of action for the next week, while I work on 'digifying' Billy's designs. It feels like that would be a lot time but at the same time a week seems short right now.
On that note, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow at twelve, so I'm off to struggle into resting mode and hopefully brianstorm myself to unconsciousness.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
ADDICTION
It comes in all different forms.
The published definition: "To occupy (oneself) with or involve (oneself) in something habitually or compulsively". I'm prone to compulsion.
Compulsion is written as "a strong, usually irresistible impulse to perform an act, esp. one that is irrational or contrary to one's will".
To be honest, I didn't want to do this tonight... Really, I was lonely. I went to the bookstore as I usually do to do my research for my website. I didn't want to go home and do the usual routine, after the bookstore closed.
I felt restless at the same time I felt dull. Everything in my life, from little to large, seemed so far away.
So, I drove... Chain-smoking and singing in my car to a song that still pains me (irnonically playing at a painful moment). I felt impassioned. I just kept driving.
I thought about playing pool. Having a beer. I thought about walking in by myself. And shrugged it off figuring I've done a lot of things by myself (A scary movie in an empty theatre was probably the strangest). But pool would be no different from the other times. I'm reasonly comfortable in my own skin.
THEN, I thought about not being able to break up the table. Or not being able to get shots in. I thought about all the guys looking at me when I walked in... About how I didn't have any money and I really shouldn't use my credit card. In the end, I did it anyway.
I walked in. But they didn't take credit card and they didn't have a liqour license. (It wasn't my usual dive). Not to mention that guy at the counter had to politely bring it to my attention that I was by myself. I said, "I know". ...And...??? I thought. Well, No credit card. Hmm. My luck. It wasn't meant to be. Let me take my imaginary friend and myself back out the door.
So I went home. I took a long and thoughtful shower, and got myself motivated for the usual routine. Yes, it's pathetic. But not as pathetic as a night of pool by myself, and knowing my compulsion that's what it would have turned into.
I'm starting to think, when I get really consumed with something in particular, I'm actually just addicted to it. What consumes me, I don't know... I'll probably get consumed thinking about what consumes me. Really my brain is like one giant racetrack of circulating overexhausted thoughts.
BUT all in all the night, in the end, was good. I figured out the major glitches in my website, allowing it to be viewed over browser windows of multiple resolutions. And, as I wanted, to line the mock image I have flush up against the right screen. The former being most crucial, crucial.
And I got a couple drawings in. I'm starting to get a good feel for the character. I tried to kill two birds with one stone and throw in some facial expressions. But today's mission (after I pass out) will be strictly facial expressions and cleaning up the images digitally. And hopefully, to begin designing the division-blocks for my site in Flash.
So, there's alot to do... but gosh is it hard to motivate myself out of my rut sometimes.
I'll end it with the small epitamphy of my terrible personality:
"The void calls out for satisfaction, a satisfaction that must be repeated endlessly, since the void is unfillable and that cycle of hunger, momentary completeness and renewed emptiness comes to be the sole drama of the addicts life"
Peter Trachtenberg
Some addictions, I guess, are hopefully, are good addictions.
The published definition: "To occupy (oneself) with or involve (oneself) in something habitually or compulsively". I'm prone to compulsion.
Compulsion is written as "a strong, usually irresistible impulse to perform an act, esp. one that is irrational or contrary to one's will".
To be honest, I didn't want to do this tonight... Really, I was lonely. I went to the bookstore as I usually do to do my research for my website. I didn't want to go home and do the usual routine, after the bookstore closed.
I felt restless at the same time I felt dull. Everything in my life, from little to large, seemed so far away.
So, I drove... Chain-smoking and singing in my car to a song that still pains me (irnonically playing at a painful moment). I felt impassioned. I just kept driving.
I thought about playing pool. Having a beer. I thought about walking in by myself. And shrugged it off figuring I've done a lot of things by myself (A scary movie in an empty theatre was probably the strangest). But pool would be no different from the other times. I'm reasonly comfortable in my own skin.
THEN, I thought about not being able to break up the table. Or not being able to get shots in. I thought about all the guys looking at me when I walked in... About how I didn't have any money and I really shouldn't use my credit card. In the end, I did it anyway.
I walked in. But they didn't take credit card and they didn't have a liqour license. (It wasn't my usual dive). Not to mention that guy at the counter had to politely bring it to my attention that I was by myself. I said, "I know". ...And...??? I thought. Well, No credit card. Hmm. My luck. It wasn't meant to be. Let me take my imaginary friend and myself back out the door.
So I went home. I took a long and thoughtful shower, and got myself motivated for the usual routine. Yes, it's pathetic. But not as pathetic as a night of pool by myself, and knowing my compulsion that's what it would have turned into.
I'm starting to think, when I get really consumed with something in particular, I'm actually just addicted to it. What consumes me, I don't know... I'll probably get consumed thinking about what consumes me. Really my brain is like one giant racetrack of circulating overexhausted thoughts.
BUT all in all the night, in the end, was good. I figured out the major glitches in my website, allowing it to be viewed over browser windows of multiple resolutions. And, as I wanted, to line the mock image I have flush up against the right screen. The former being most crucial, crucial.
And I got a couple drawings in. I'm starting to get a good feel for the character. I tried to kill two birds with one stone and throw in some facial expressions. But today's mission (after I pass out) will be strictly facial expressions and cleaning up the images digitally. And hopefully, to begin designing the division-blocks for my site in Flash.
So, there's alot to do... but gosh is it hard to motivate myself out of my rut sometimes.
I'll end it with the small epitamphy of my terrible personality:
"The void calls out for satisfaction, a satisfaction that must be repeated endlessly, since the void is unfillable and that cycle of hunger, momentary completeness and renewed emptiness comes to be the sole drama of the addicts life"
Peter Trachtenberg
Some addictions, I guess, are hopefully, are good addictions.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
I DETOURED...
Well, I cleaned off my drafting table, and got my studio organized. I was just itching to work on some artwork. This is Billy Buck, a character whose orignal concept I created about a year ago.... I figured he was the easiest to start off with (and of couse quickest to get finished).
So, yeah, I detoured a bit. But I figured while I was figuring out some kinks in my website and doing my research reading books, I might as well squeeze in some time to build up my portfolio.
I've been digging into Flash books. I ran into a problem with fixed width vs. fluid width. Seems the site I'm using as a layout guide is primarily fluid,and I've been having a problem with my side image floating all over the place when I switch from my desktop browser to my labtop browser. (Atleast I'm understanding the problem... sigh...) Now I have to figure out the best approach. I will probably just adjust everything and go with a fixed layout, but I wanted to do some tests first so I can see exactly how I'll have to adjust the layout with my initial style.
Well, enough about the site. It consumes enough of my thousts. I'd just like to write that it feels good to peel into my roots again. I feel a sense of confidence. Billy still needs a lot of work, but I was a lot more scared before than I am now. I will probably do some more concept designs before bringing him into the 3d application. I'm not happy with his side view (or any of my character's side views for that matter). My characters always look like damn monkeys! I know anatomically that there's definitely an error over there... Gesture wise, I feel he looks pretty comfy in that seat... I don't feel any stiffness in his poses (besides the original concept)... So, that's good.
My next step will just be to get more comfortable drawing the character in all different positions in all different scenarios. I just want to concentrate on representing his personality. And I'd like to do a series of facial expressions. I'm hoping to do this within the next few days, while I run the tests on the site and finish up the site's side image.
As far as my other design, I haven't given up it. I scanned it in, blew it up, printed it out. I plan to adjust the perspective and add in the detail. I'll hash out a good angle in the 3d program with mock objects and print it out. And use that as a reference (By the way, I SUCK at perspective). I credit my teacher and mentor, Jeff Lerer, for that tip! That project will be a looong project... specifically because I want to take a lot of time of detailing. But for some reason I can't get myself to work on it without getting the Wacom tablet first. It gives me motivation to get the stupid tablet! Next month. Next check. I swear it. For now, just Billy and my site. (I know I'm all over the place...)
As far as my life, it's the same old. When I make artwork and I feel the session was successful, it makes me feel really, really good. I guess that's all I can ask for of myself right now. lol.
It may be a long journey, but I got the shoes with good soles. :)
Thank god for inspiration...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)